Top of the world Jokes

The World is Populated by Idiots

1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. 2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head. 3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial…

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Top 10 Men Bashing Jokes

1) How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them. 2) Why did the man cross the road? He heard the chicken was a slut. 3) Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time. 4) Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Even at that stage they won’t stop to ask directions. 5) What do men and sperm have in common? They both have…

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Top 10 Reasons EVE was Created….

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions. 9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote. 8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him. 7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor’s, dentist, or…

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Around the World

A french man, an american man and a romanian man are on a plane. The french man sticks out his hand and declares, “We’re above France.” The other two, confused, ask him, “How did you know?” He answers “I stuck out my hand and could feel the top of the Eifel Tower.” The american then sticks out his hand and is sure that they’re flying above America. The french and romanian ask him how he knows. He replies, “I stuck…

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Student Bloopers: The World According to………..

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of…

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The World Trade Building

Q: My ex-wife, my Lawyer and Bill Clinton all meet on top of the World Trade center. After chatting for about an hour they all walk over to the edge, look down, and all jump over the edge at the same time. Who do you think will hit the ground first. A: Who really cares !!!

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World’s Greatest Charade Player

The world’s greatest charade player brags that he can guess any charade. A TV producer decides to use the charade player in a TV special. He issues a challenge offering the charade player a million dollars to guess a very hard charade on television. The Charade player agrees. Comes the big night, all the world is watching. The charade player is sitting on stage in front of a curtain. Music blares and the curtain opens to reveal seven nude young…

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Baillie Gifford Prize Shortlist Reveals It’s Not Just Books, It’s a Safari of ‘Horny Wolves, Eunuchs, and Pirates’!

Well, move over, weighty biographies and profound philosophical treatises! The prestigious Baillie Gifford prize has unveiled a shortlist that reads less like a literary award and more like the guest list for the world’s most interesting (and slightly unhinged) dinner party. ? We’re talking ‘horny wolves, eunuchs, and pirates’ all vying for top nonfiction honors. Apparently, authors like Helen Garner and Richard Holmes are at the forefront of this wild ride, with their nonfiction books not only exploring these… diverse…

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Read JokeBaillie Gifford Prize Shortlist Reveals It’s Not Just Books, It’s a Safari of ‘Horny Wolves, Eunuchs, and Pirates’!

Suspended Pride Leader Ordered to Unlock Bank Accounts AND Social Media, Apparently Forgot How to Share

Suspended Pride Leader Ordered to Unlock Bank Accounts AND Social Media, Apparently Forgot How to Share! ? Well, this is a bit awkward. A top figure at London’s Pride parade, who is currently fending off accusations of using the organization’s cash like his personal piggy bank, just got a stern order from the high court. ???? He’s been told to relinquish control of everything: Bank accounts (naturally, for obvious reasons) Social media passwords (because who needs separate lives for their…

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Thoughts from within my brain…

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station… What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men? Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP? If Stop & Shop and the A&P were to merge would it be called Stop & P? I believe five out of…

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