Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One evening a husband comes home to his apartment very roughed up. When his wife sees him, she asks, “What happened to you?” “I got into a fight with the apartment manager.” “Whatever for?” “He claimed he had slept with every woman in the complex except one!” “Hmmmm. I bet it’s that snooty Mrs. Brown on the third floor.”
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This little old lady lives New York and after a long day goes home to her hotel. She passes the doorman and heads for the elevator. She pushes her floor, number 15, and the elevator begins to rise, but eventually stops on the third floor. Suddenly, this beautiful brunette walks into the elevator. As the elevator resumes ascending, the old lady begins sniffing the brunette. The brunette tosses her hair back and says, “Calvin Klein, $75 an ounce.” The elevator…
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A man and his beautiful blonde wife went out to dinner at a nice resturant on the third floor of a building. When they got there, the blonde excused herself to go to the restroom. Over an hour went by and the man was getting very worried. Finally the wife came back. “Where have you been? I was getting worried!” the husband demanded. The wife replied, “The escalator broke and I was stuck there for an hour and a half!”
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This is a bricklayer’s accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers’ Compensation Board. This is this Bricklayer’s report … a true story. Dear Sir; I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put “Poor Planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer…
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A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only”. Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The doorman, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you…
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1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at the third floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn’t yet started the paper either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a…
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A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator. On the third floor a man gets in who looks perfect– 3 piece suit, great build, nice butt. The bad part is they both notice he had dandruff. The man got off on the 5th floor. Once the doors closed the brunette turned to the blonde and said, “Someone should give him Head and Shoulders.” To which the blonde replied, “How do you give Shoulders?”
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? Breaking News from the Eternal City! A Rome woman has been officially banned from feeding her feathered friends after neighbours declared their apartment block a literal ‘Hitchcockian pigeon hell.’ Talk about taking ‘going to the birds’ a bit too far! ? Rome’s mayor, no doubt accustomed to dealing with ancient ruins and traffic, has now had to step in to stop the avian apocalypse. Furious residents claimed they were quite literally drowning in feathers and guano (that’s fancy bird…
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A guy died, went to hell, and was greeted by the devil. The devil led him to a hallway and told him to choose 1 of 3 rooms to spend the rest of eternity in. He opened the first door to find a group of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. He thought that looked extremely uncomfortable, so he opened the second door. Here he found a group of people standing on their heads on a concrete…
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Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit 33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in turn and asks them about how they died. First man: “I’d been suspecting for a long time that my wife was cheating on me. I decided to come home early from work one afternoon and check…
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