Ted kennedy Jokes

Kennedy Helps Clinton

Ted Kennedy approached President Clinton after hearing his address to the nation and said, “Mr. President, I just want you to know that if there’s anything I can do to help, anything at all, just ask.” Clinton replied, “Could you drive Monica home?”

(1)Loading...

Read JokeKennedy Helps Clinton

Speaking Southern

The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes The South has ‘mater samiches The North has coffeehouses The South has Waffle Houses The North has dating services The South has family reunions The North has switchblade knives The South has Lee Press-on Nails The North has double last names The South has double first names The North has Ted Kennedy The South has Jesse Helms The North has an ambulance The South has an amblance The North has the Mafia, The South has…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSpeaking Southern

A Southern View of Yankees

ARE NORTHERNERS “BLUE-NECKS”? By now I’m sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins: YOU JUST MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF: 1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning “to cook outside.” 2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY! 3. You don’t have any problems pronouncing “Worcestershire sauce” correctly. 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits. 5. You don’t know…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeA Southern View of Yankees

spooky history???!

And remember that it’s ALL COMPLETELY TRUE… ************************************* Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both were shot in the head.…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokespooky history???!

Will the REAL media please stand up!

Although the today’s joke was submitted “anonymously”, we at Comedy.com suspect that Bill O’Riely may have submitted it. If so, thanks Bill! Two boys in Boston were playing baseball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off of a nearby fence, wedged it into the dog’s collar and twisted it, breaking the dog’s neck. A newspaper reporter from the Boston Herald witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWill the REAL media please stand up!

Everything comes in threes…

“EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES” Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern. “YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU (When you die)” Well….., that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeEverything comes in threes…

What Happens in ‘0′ Years

What happens when a president gets elected in a year with a “O” at the end? 1840: William Henry Harrison (Died in Office) 1860: Abraham Lincoln (Assassinated) 1880: James A. Garfield (Assassinated) 1900: William McKinley (Assassinated) 1920: Warren G. Harding (Died in Office) 1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt (Died in Office) 1960: John F. Kennedy (Assassinated) 1980: Ronald Reagan (Survived Assassination Attempt) And to think that we have 2 guys duking it out in the courts to be the one elected…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeWhat Happens in ‘0′ Years

The State of the Union

THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN: “Members of Congress…people of America…I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven’t been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I haven’t tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, Albright, and Shalala, mostly because they’re a little older than I like and they…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeThe State of the Union