Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit, when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again–even more slowly. Another flash! He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. “This guy must have screwed up the settings,” the off-duty officer thought. He planned to mention the…
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A man walks into a supermarket in downtown L.A. and heads straight to the produce section. After looking at the heads of fresh lettuce on display, the customer approaches the store clerk and asks, “Excuse me. Can I buy half a head of lettuce?” Shaking his head, the clerk says, “I’m sorry. But we sell those by the whole head.” “But I don’t need a whole head, just half. C’mon surely you can accommodate my simple request,” insists the customer.…
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The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This was serious and written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II – a mere 54 years ago! Obviously, the intent was not to be “funny,” but by today’s standards, this is hilarious! For those of you with efficiency issues, pay attention to #8. ———————————— Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: There’s no longer any question whether…
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The visiting church school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class who broke down the walls of Jericho. Little Johnny replies that he does not know, but it definitely is not him. The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowledge, goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident. The principal replies that he knows little Johnny, as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them, and if little Johnny said that…
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This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as “Millennium Year Application Software System” (MYASS). Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a…
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Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following: 1. Buying a stronger whip. 2. Changing riders. 3. Say things like, “This is the way we have always ridden this horse.” 4. Appointing a committee to study the horse. 5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. 6. Increasing the…
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While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1, 2000, and most of our subsidiary units and contractors claim they will also be fully compliant, we obviously need to make some preparations in case unexpected challenges impair our ability to meet the needs of our customers. Enclosed with this memo is a “Y2K Backup System” device designed to meet short time emergency needs in case of a computer operations failure, or operational delay. This device is the…
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After a two year study, the National Science Foundation has announced the following results on America’s recreational preferences: 1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is basketball. 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. 3. The sport of choice for blue-collar line workers is football. 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. 5. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. 6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is…
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The National Science Foundation has just completed a study on the recreational habits of corporate america. The sport of choice for maintenance employees is bowling. The sport of choice for front line workers is football. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of choice for middle managers is tennis. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf. The conclusion of the study indicates that the higher one is on the corporate ladder the smaller the balls…
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The visiting church school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class who broke down the walls of Jericho. Little Johnny replies that he does not know, but it definitely is not him. The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident. The principal replies that he knows little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them, if little Johnny said that he…
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