Stutter Jokes

A really huge, muscular guy with a bad stutter, goes to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-en’s dep-p-p-partment?” The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him. Finally, the guy storms off in anger!!! The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, “Why wouldn’t you answer that guy’s question?” The clerk replies, “D-d-d-do…

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One day this guy with a stuttering problem walked up to the foreman and said, “I wwwouldd lllike a jjob pppllleaase.” The foreman said, “I would really like to son, but with that stuttering problem you have, I can’t. We have a lot of bricks that fall around here and by the time you got the words out, someone would get hurt.” The stutterer said, “Bbbbutt I rrreally nnneed a jjobb.” The foreman said, “Look, if you go home and…

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One Sunday, a preacher was teaching his sermon. It was on “Healing”. At the end of the sermon, he asked the congregation if anyone needed to be healed today. A man came up, and the preacher asked him for his name. “J-J-Jon,” he replied. The preacher asked him what his problem was. “I…I…I…w-w-w-well…I-I…stu-stu-stu….I…st-stutter…a-a-lot.” “Okay,” the preacher said, “you just go over there behind that screen and we’ll pray for you in just a second.” The preacher turned to the congregation,…

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Stuttering John was, once again, rathered embarrassed at the toothbrush company’s monthly sales meeting. “How many tooth brushes did you sell this month?” asked his sales manager. “I ssssold fffour tttooothbrushes llast month, bboss,” stammered John. “That doesn’t cut the mustard,” shouted the sales manager, “you need to come up with a gimmick if you want to be a successful salesman!’ “Wwhat’s a gggiimmick?” asked John. “You know,” said the sales manager, “anything that will make the customer buy your…

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A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new “city” outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, answered, “Yes ma’am, ya see, I’m from Texas and I want to buy a complete outfit.” Well, her eyes lit up as she asked, “Where would you like to start?” “Well ma’am. How about a suit?” “Yes sir, what size?” “Size 53 … tall, ma’am.” “Wow, that’s really…

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As you are all aware, the airline industry in which we work has it’s own unique set of terminology. The following are some of the most commonly used terms and their definitions. PASSENGER – A herding creature of widely varying intellect, usually found in pairs or small groups. Often will become vicious and violent in simple and easily rectified situations. When frightened or confused these creatures collect into a group called a “line.” This “line” has no set pattern and…

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Once upon a midnight dreary, while I websurfed, weak and weary, Over many a strange and spurious site of “hot chicks galore,” As I clicked my fav’rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, And, of course, I was now mourning; mourning for my lost amour, “Tis not possible!” I stuttered, “Give me back my cheap hardcore!” Quote the server, “404.”

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Jim loved his new dog until it started bringing home things from all over the neighborhood — things like shoes and hats and kids’ toys — nothing that was that big of a deal. Except for one day the dog brought home a dead rabbit. Jim was shocked later when he found out that the rabbit actually belonged to his neighbor, Sandy, who was at work. Jim took the dead rabbit, washed it and fluffed up its fur and then…

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