Stupid ass Jokes

Too Stupid

This is the actual telephone dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee: “Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?” “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.” “What sort of trouble?” “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.” “Went away?” “They disappeared.” “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?” “Nothing.” “Nothing?” “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.” “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get…

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Stupid People Should Advertise

Stupid people should have to wear signs that say, “I’M STUPID!” That would save the rest of us “normal” folks a lot of headaches. We wouldn’t rely on them or expect much from them. It would be like, “Oh, excuse me. Never mind. I just noticed your sign.” It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes, and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says, “Hey, you moving?”…

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Early Warning Signs of Stupidity

1. When you’re playing the piano, you frequently lose your grip on the bow. 2. You go to bed and accidentally fluff up your head. 3. You’re absolutely convinced nostalgia is a thing of the past. 4. You go to bed and purposely fluff up your head. 5. You purchase season tickets to the Super Bowl. 6. You have trouble picking your shadow out of a crowd. 7. You’ve caught yourself waving “Goodbye” instead of “Hello” when answering the telephone.…

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Stupid Teachers

A teacher once stood up and said to her class, “Anyone who thinks that they are stupid, please stand up.” No one stood up for a few seconds and then in the back of the room, little Jimmy rose. “Jimmy, why do you think you are stupid?” The teacher asked. Jimmy quickly replied, “Oh I don’t think that, I just didn’t want you standing up there by yourself!”

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Stupid Car Accident Excuses

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all…

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Wrong Side

A big, nasty biker walked into a bar and shouldered his way into the middle of the bar. After ordering a beer, he yelled in a loud voice, “Everyone on this side of the room is a stupid ass.” No-one moved. After taking another drink, he again yelled, “Everyone on that side of the room is a damn queer.” Still no-one moved. Suddenly, he noticed a frail looking guy sneaking across the back of the room, and yelled, “Where the…

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Free Advice from Kids

1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. – Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. – Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. – Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. – Randy, 9 5. Never pee on an electric fence. – Robert, 13 6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. – Noronha, 13 7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells…

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ya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…

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Dumby and a Donkey

Fred’s donkey had been acting weird for a few days, so he decided to take his donkey to the vet. After a few tests the vet said the donkey had eaten something poisonous. The vet suggested that the donkey would need to have a depository put into his rectum. Fred, not wanting to show his stupidity, said ok. Not having any idea on what a rectum was, he thought that once he saw this depository, he could figure it out.…

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