Star of david Jokes - page 2

The Vodka-drinking Priest

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.” So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He…

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What Men want from Women: 1 – 10

ONE- We want you to understand that we don’t give a shit about clothes, all right? Yours OR ours. All we need is one pair of tennies and one pair of church shoes. That’s it. TWO- Don’t talk to us while the television is on, all right? Very simple: Television is off, we talk. Television is on, we don’t talk. THREE- When you’re behind the wheel of a car, if you want to get aggressive, that’s fine, but don’t give…

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Burning Building

Alex, Roy and David escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to Alex, ?Jump! Jump! It?s your only chance to survive!? Alex jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The fireman laugh as he slams into the pavement like a tomato. ?C?mon! Jump! You gotta jump!? say the firemen to Roy. ?Oh no! You?re gonna pull the blanket away!?…

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Student Bloopers: The World According to………..

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of…

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