Sode Jokes

Dear John,

This soldier had been stationed overseas and was fooling around on his wife. She was back home in the states. She found out about it through some anonymous letters. The soldier gets a package from his wife. He finds inside a batch of homemade cookies and a video tape of his favorite stateside TV shows. He invites a couple of buddies over to watch the tape. They’re all having a great time eating the cookies and watching episodes of “South…

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Read JokeDear John,

Sailor Met Blonde

A sailor met a good-looking blonde at the bar and was trying to get laid without much success. “I don’t date servicemen,” she said, “but I am curious as to why you sailors have those two rows of buttons on your pants.” “Why, that’s because we have two dicks,” the sailor replied. “Interesting. Probably twice as much fun, I would think,” replied the blonde. “Let’s go to my place and try them out.” So they did, and after the first…

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Expense Account

1 Jan. Ad for female stenographer $5.00 2 Jan. Violets for new stenographer $7.50 6 Jan. Week’s salary for stenographer $225.00 9 Jan. Roses for stenographer $25.00 10 Jan. Candy for wife $4.50 12 Jan. Lunch for stenographer $35.00 13 Jan. Week’s salary for stenographer $300.00 16 Jan. Theater tickets for self and stenographer $75.00 19 Jan. Ice cream sode for wife $1.50 20 Jan. Virginia’s salary $375.00 23 Jan. Champagne and dinner for “Ginny” $160.00 25 Jan. Doctor for…

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Do’s and Don’t Do’s of University Life.

Matt and Lennie’s Do’s and Don’t Do’s… Of University Life: Do – Ask questions when in doubt. Don’t – Call your professor “P. Daddy Spanks”. Do – Bring books to class. Don’t – Bring your pet Tree Frog “Mittens” to class. Do – Buy second hand books. Don’t – Buy home made books out of the back of Slimmy Jakes truck. Do – Form a study group. Don’t – Let the crazy old guy that lives in the dumpster out…

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Best Emergency Room Stories

Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…

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Quantity, please?

While living, in Hawaii during the 1980s, I was privileged to watch several episodes of “MAGNUM P.I.” being filmed, on location. When the Director calls for the cameras to roll, prior to calling for “Action!,” the camera operator responds that the camera is rolling and that the film has reached the required speed through the lens aperture. During one shoot at the Chinese Cultural Center in Honolulu, actor Tom Selleck was in one of his mischievous moods, and the following…

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10 things women will NEVER understand about Men:

Men are a misunderstood lot, which all in all is probably for the best. Women are better off not knowing that we eat with our hands the minute they leave the room or that we use their nail clippers to trim our nose hair. Better for them, better for us. Still, it’s annoying that women spend more time and money trying to understand the minds of cats than they do, wondering about what makes men tick. Which is why they’ll…

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Compromising Positions

This celebrity is taking a shower. He has made it known to the public that he is celibate, and is firm on that fact. Even so, he occasionally feels the need to “release some built up tension”, and this is one of these occasions. Just as he is finishing with himself, he sees a photographer, who has captured the whole episode on film. “Hold on a minute” he says. “You can’t do that. You’ll destroy my reputation. I’ll be a…

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Fall TV Schedule

Thursday’s Schedule for the new Fall Television season: NBC 8:00 Friends 8:30 Girlfriends 9:00 One Guy with Several Female Friends 9:30 My Gay Friends FOX 8:00 Real Humans in Real Pain 8:30 Feral Dingoes Eating Children on Tape 9:00 Jiggle It Beach 9:30 LA Chicks 10:00 Beverly Hills 90210: The 90,210th Episode UPN 8:00 The Unwatchables 8:30 Voyage To The Bottom Of The Ratings 9:00 Theoretically Existing Show 9:30 Praying For Syndication 10:00 The Last Thing You’d Ever Want To…

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Longstanding Wish

Ahmed was a high-ranking courtier in King Akbar’s court. However, he had one longstanding wish–to suck the queen’s voluptuous breasts to his mind’s desire. Every time he passed the queen, he would get frustrated. He would spend the entire day thinking of ways of achieving this, but knew King Akbar’s sword would meet his neck if he did so. One day he revealed his desire to Birbal, the King’s trusted advisor, and begged him to do something about it. Birbal,…

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