Smile Jokes

Service with a smile

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote: “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?” An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, “I’ve been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I’ve…

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Singer ‘Self Esteem’ Cast as Raging Rock Star, Proving Inner Peace Can Also Shred Guitars

In a casting decision that has us all chuckling into our tea, the artist known professionally as Self Esteem is set to embrace her inner turmoil as a “raging rock star” in a revival of David Hare’s ‘Teeth ’n’ Smiles’. ? It seems even those with stellar self-worth can channel pure, unadulterated stage fury! Rebecca Lucy Taylor, the woman behind the wonderfully ironic moniker, will tackle the role of Maggie in a 50th-anniversary production hitting London in March. Fun fact:…

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Read JokeSinger ‘Self Esteem’ Cast as Raging Rock Star, Proving Inner Peace Can Also Shred Guitars

Granny’s Limerick

A 15-year-old high school student was hard at work on the kitchen table trying to write a limerick for the school paper’s contest. His grandmother came in to make tea and asked him what he was writing. “There’s a contest at school for the best limerick. The winner gets published in our school newspaper” replied Jimmy. “Oh”, Granny smiled, “maybe I can help you. When I was your age, I used to be quite good at making up limericks, although…

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Read JokeGranny’s Limerick

Airplane Pendant

A young lady went to a dance, wearing a low-cut, strapless gown. Around her neck, she wore a little golden airplane on a long chain. All night she noticed a young man, staring at her. In her embarrassment, she held up the airplane and said, “Oh, you like my airplane, huh?” The young man smiled, mischievously, and said, “No ma’am, I was just admiring the landing field.”

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Read JokeAirplane Pendant

Already acting like a lawyer

Two plumbers, Bob and Phil, went bar-hopping every week together, and every week like clockwork, Bob would go home with a woman while Phil went home alone. One week Phil had had enough and asked Bob for his secret to picking up women. “That’s easy,” said Bob. “When you’re out on the dance floor and she leans in and asks you what you do for a living, don’t tell her you’re a plumber. Tell her you’re a lawyer.” Later Phil…

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Pass It On

At a rape trial, the young victim was asked by the D. A. what the defendant said just before the alleged assault. Too embarrassed to answer aloud, the victim asked if she could write out the answer. After reading the note, the judge instructed the jury foreman to read it and pass it among the rest of the jurors. One juror, who had dozed off, was nudged by the woman juror sitting next to him. He took the note from…

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Change, please?

I remember the first time I entered a topless restaurant, back in the 1970s, in Colorado. I went in the place out of curiosity, and was fascinated by the beautiful young women walking around, waiting on the customers, and wearing no tops. I was awestruck! A pretty blonde with bright green eyes walked over to me and smiled. “Would you like something?” she purred. Unable to take my eyes off her chest, but needing exact change for the cigarette machine,…

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more bumper stickers…

a.. Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS? b.. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! c.. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole d.. 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest? e.. Your gene pool needs a little chlorine. f.. You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! g.. DON’T PISS ME OFF!!!!!! I’m running out of…

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Read Jokemore bumper stickers…

Who’s Zooming Who?

While playing poker with his buddies at the home of his friend Eddie one Sunday evening, Dan happened to drop a dollar bill to the floor. As he bent down to pick up the dollar bill under the poker table, he happened to look directly at the shapely legs of Eddie’s wife, Mona, who was seated on a chair near the poker table. Sensing that Dan was staring at her legs, Mona slyly parted her legs revealing that she was…

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Santa’s Pissed!

‘Twas the night before Christmas, Old Santa was pissed, He cussed out the elves, And threw down his list, “Miserable little pricks, Ungrateful little jerks, I have good mind, To scrap the whole works! I’ve busted my ass, For damn near a year, Instead of ‘Thanks Santa,’ What do I hear? The old lady bitches, ‘Cause I work late at night, The elves want more money, The reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk, And goosed all the maids, Donner is…

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