Smart woman Jokes

The smartest blonde.

There are three blondes washed up on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island. The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a ravishing redhead. The redhead builds a boat and sails off the island. The third blonde…

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Smart seeds

A Woman is walking trough the train searching for a seat, finally she finds one and sits down. Across the woman is a man with a bag of seeds… and the man is eating the seeds one by one. Curious the woman asks: “Why are you eating seeds?” “These aren’t just seeds,” explains the man, this are seeds of the smart apple tree.. when you eat these seeds you instantly become smarter.” “WOW!” answers the woman. “Will you give me…

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A Woman Is What She Drinks

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what…

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Sage Comments from Smart Women

“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…. and I also know that I’m not blonde.” -Dolly Parton- “You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.” -Erica Jong- “I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that…

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new math

Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy Dumb man + smart woman = affair Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

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The lift

There was a smart man, a smart woman and santa in a lift. There was a penny in the middle of the lift. Who picks it up? The smart man because the others dont exist.

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Male Bashing

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough. Q: Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A: Because if they all went, it would be Hell. Q: Why do men like smart women? A: Opposites attract. Q: How are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They’re hard to…

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Fighting Back

After all the men bashing jokes, it time to FIGHT BACK!!! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. How…

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