Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Just recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in my community to be a judge at a chili cookoff because no one else wanted to do it. Also, the original person called in sick at the last minute and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy,…
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Q- How did Bill Clinton win presidental elections? A- With the help of his wife Hillary. She first shaved her bikini line, went to give speech in front of public, lifted her skirt and said: “Read my lips no more Bush”
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Just recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in my community to be a judge at a chili cookoff because no one else wanted to do it. Also, the original person called in sick at the last minute and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy,…
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Two worms live together on a golf course. The first worm says, “What kind of a day is it, I wonder.” The other worm says, “You know, I don’t know, but I was thinking of going up and checking it out.” The first worm says, “That’s a good idea. Why don’t you do that.” So the second worm starts on his way up through the dirt. At the same time, two lady golfers are walking along the fairway. The first…
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A woman walks into a bar and orders drinks for the house. The bartender sets them up then says, “That’ll be $105.50.” The woman says, “I don’t have any money.” The bartender says, “Then how do you expect to pay for all these drinks?” She lifts up her skirt past her crotch. She’s got no panties on. The bartender says, “Don’t you have anything smaller?”
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A girl came skipping home from school one day. “Mommy Mommy”, she yelled. ” We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to ten!” “Very good”, said the mother. “Is it because I’m blonde?” asked the girl. “Yes, it’s because your blonde.” The next day the girl came skipping home from school. “Mommy Mommy”, she yelled “We were saying the alphabet today,and all the other kids said up to D but…
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A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and is very satisfied with the results. One day he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?” “About 35,” he replies. “I’m actually 47!” the man says, feeling happy. After that he goes into McDonald’s for lunch, and asks the server the…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM! NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle…
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A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?” “About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks…
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