Sitting in the park Jokes - page 2

Tips for Life

OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out names and addresses of people you don’t know. WHEN reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists. A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity. BUS DRIVERS: Pretend you’re an airline pilot, by…

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They have the answer

Two beggars are sitting on a park bench in Mexico City. One is holding a cross and one a Star of David. Both are holding hats to collect contributions. People walk by, lift their noses at the man with the Star of David and drop money in the hat held by the man with the cross. Soon, the hat of the man with the cross is filled and the hat of the man with the Star of David is empty.…

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Nothing Quite Like Teenage Love!

The inexperienced young man was smitten with the girl who was sitting beside him in his parked car. Looking at her in the light of the full moon, he gently placed his hand on her knee and said, “Angie….I think I love you.” With a knowing smile, she put her hand on his and said, “Higher, Ralph.” Clearing his throat, he said, “Angie….I think I love you!” in a cracked falsetto.

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Working

How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity In The Workplace 1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you. 3. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point, Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry,…

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Math in Everyday Life

Three men were sitting on a park bench, a biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician. They saw two people walking on the opposite side of the street and into an apartment building. Later on, the two people walked out, but with a third person with them. This puzzled the three men. “The first two must have reproduced,” explained the biologist. “That’s not right,” objected the physicist, “there was already another person in the building.” “You’re both wrong!” exclaimed the mathematician.…

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TONS of Blonde Jokes

1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…

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wackiness in the workplace

“How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace, Part I” ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during he meeting. During the meeting, eat 5 entire raw potatoes. Insist that your e-mail address be “[email protected]” Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him/her…

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Frustrated old man!

There was an old man sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out when a young jogger came by and asked him what was the matter. The old man says, “I’m a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not …(sob)” The young jogger says, “Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed…

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Popping the Question(s)

Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship again. One day, as he was walking through a public park, he spied what he considered to be a very pretty, silver-haired lady sitting alone on a park bench. Getting his nerve up, he approached the lady and asked graciously, “Pardon me, ma’am, but may I sit here with you?” The silver-haired Marcie…

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Elementary, My Dear Watson Part 2

“Good afternoon, ladies,” says Sherlock Holmes to three women sitting on a park bench as he and his good friend Dr. Watson are taking an afternoon stroll through the park in London. When they are out of earshot from the three women, Dr. Watson asks, “I say, Holmes, do you know those ladies back there?” “No, Watson,” replies Holmes, “I don’t know the spinster, the prostitute and the new bride.” Astonished, Watson asks again in a surprised voice, “Good heavens,…

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