A Single Woman
Q: What is the difference between a single woman and a married woman? A: A single woman comes home, sees what is in the refrigerator and goes to bed. A married woman comes home sees what is in the bed and goes to the refrigerator.
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Q: What is the difference between a single woman and a married woman? A: A single woman comes home, sees what is in the refrigerator and goes to bed. A married woman comes home sees what is in the bed and goes to the refrigerator.
ORIGINAL List (Before she’s 40 years old) 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially Successful 4. A Caring Listener 5. Witty 6. In Good Shape 7. Dresses with Style 8. Appreciates the Finer Things 9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises 10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover REVISED List (When she’s 40 years old and beyond) 1. Not too ugly 2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public 3. Works steady 4. Doesn’t nod off while she’s emoting 5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes…
A very good-looking guy walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of the evening he tries to chat up every single woman who walks into the bar, without any luck. Suddenly a really ugly man, and I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y ugly man, walks into the bar. He sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Very soon he walks out of the bar with the two of the most…
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys : – 1 bar of soap – 1 toothbrush – 1 tube toothpaste – 1 loaf of bread – 1 pint of milk – 1 single serving cereal – 1 single serving frozen dinner The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, “Single, are you?” The woman replies very sarcastically, “How did you guess?” He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
A man is walking down a beach, and accidentally kicks a bottle out of the sand. He opens the bottle, and a genie appears. The genie said, “I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you one wish. I can only grant one.” The man thought for a while and finally said, “I have always wanted to go to Hawaii. I’ve never been able to go because airplanes are much too frightening for me…
Two men were talking about their lives one day, while driving to a boat show. One of the men was single, and the other was married with two children. They crashed into an incoming 18- wheeler and died on impact. When they went to heaven’s waiting room, Peter told the single man he was not allowed in heaven, but let the married man in. The single guy, frustrated and mad, asked Peter why he let the married man in but…
1. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 2. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? 3. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 4. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”? 5.. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? 6. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do…
One fall day, Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was a second hearse which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. “My wife,” the man replied. “I’m sorry,” said Bill. What happened to her? “My dog…
Isn’t it amazing just how sophisticated computers are becoming? Just the other day, I was looking at the newest ones at COMP USA. I saw one which REALLY caught my eye. Instead of an Owner’s Manual, the operating instructions consisted of a SINGLE sheet of paper, printed on only ONE side. The sheet read, “If you have trouble operating this computer in any way, please do the following: 1. Locate the nearest 12-year-old child. 2. LISTEN to what s/he says.