Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional prank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people. The best call came from a man who repeatedly complained that he was being paged by “Lucille.” He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him.…
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A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote: “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?” An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, “I’ve been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I’ve…
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A financial magnate was on his death bed. He was under an Oxygen tent. At his side stood his loyal subordinate, tears streaming down his face. “Do not grieve,” whispered the expiring tycoon, with considerable effort. “I want you to know that I appreciate your faithful services to me over the years. I am leaving you my money, my plane, my estates, my yacht… everything I have.” “Thank you sir” cried the subordinate. “You have always been so good to…
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An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was not accustomed to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies, soy sauce, etc.) and was constantly sending his man servant, Abdul, to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed. “Abdul, you son…
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A passenger train is creeping along, painfully slow. Finally, it creaks to a complete halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. “What’s going on?” she yells out the window. “Cow on the track!” replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walking by again. She leans out the window and yells, “What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?”
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A policeman was driving around in his patrol car. After he pulled off an expressway, he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, and he noticed someone at a KFC fast food place getting into his car. They guy had placed a bucket of chicken on top of his car, got in and drove off with the bucket still on top of his car. So the policeman decided to pull him over and perform a community service…
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Morris was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon, Dr. Michael DeBakey, standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager. Morris, one of those loud mouths, shouted across the garage, “Hey, DeBakey…Is dat you? Come over here a minute.” The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris was working on a car. Morris in a loud voice, so all could hear, said argumentatively, “So, Mr.…
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This old guy named Joe invested in Microsoft stock in the early eighties and just died a wealthy man. He had no family, so his business associates were at the reading of his will, where it was learned that the old man wanted to be buried with most of his money. His banker, pastor, and lawyer were each given envelopes with $500,000 cash with the instructions to deposit the money in the casket at the funeral. Three days later at…
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The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark.” In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed…
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A career military man, who had retired as a corporal, was telling the younger men how he handled officers during his 20 years of service. “It didn’t matter a hoot if he was a Major General, an Admiral, or the Commander-in-Chief. I always told those guys exactly where to get off.” “Wow! You musta been something!” the admiring young soldiers remarked. “What was your job in the service?” “Elevator operator at the Pentagon.”
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