Scratch Jokes

Italian ‘Art Police’ Raid Dalí Show, Discovering a Surreal 21 Suspected Fakes

Italian ‘Art Police’ Raid Dalí Show, Discovering a Surreal 21 Suspected Fakes. It seems even the world of high art isn’t immune to a good old-fashioned ‘oops!’ moment! ? Italy’s specialized art squad, the Carabinieri, swooped into a Parma exhibition dedicated to none other than the master of surrealism himself, Salvador Dalí. The mission? To confiscate a whopping 21 works that are now under heavy suspicion of being about as authentic as a mustache glued onto a potato. ? The…

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Read JokeItalian ‘Art Police’ Raid Dalí Show, Discovering a Surreal 21 Suspected Fakes

France Gets a ‘Sad Face’ on Its Financial Report Card as Debt Climbs and Leaders Argue Over the Check

France Gets a ‘Sad Face’ on Its Financial Report Card as Debt Climbs and Leaders Argue Over the Check. ? Fitch, the no-nonsense financial principal, has officially given France a less-than-stellar grade, downgrading its credit rating from a ‘respectable’ AA- to a ‘just-passing’ A+. This marks France’s lowest score on record at a major agency, making efforts to control national finances as complicated as trying to assemble IKEA furniture with missing instructions. ?? A leader resembling President Macron and his…

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Read JokeFrance Gets a ‘Sad Face’ on Its Financial Report Card as Debt Climbs and Leaders Argue Over the Check

The Marriage Counselor

After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other’s throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counselor’s office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. “What seems to be the problem?” Immediately, the husband held his long face down without…

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Concealment Doesn’t Count

It’s more than obvious: The high technology of the information age isn’t for everyone. Consider the man standing by the office fax machine and scratching his head when a co-worker walks by. “Do you know anything about this fax machine?” the puzzled fellow asks. “A little. What’s wrong?” “Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened.” “How did you load…

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father and son, bonding?

One day dad decides to take his boy for a ride in the car, so they leave and as they are driving down the road, dad starts smoking a joint. The boy asks his father if he can have a hit and the dad asks, “Can your dick reach your ass?” and the boy says, “Well, no” and the dad says, “Alright then.” Little while later they stop in at a gas station and dad picks up a 6 pack…

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Wanna bite?

As they drove through the training area on their annual inspection, the proud Officer in Charge of the training base waved a hand toward the field and said to the General, “We are extremely proud of our camoflauge training, Sir. Our soldiers blend into the background, completely invisible to the enemy. As a matter of fact, there are over a hundred men hidden in this field and I’m sure even a veteran soldier like yourself cannot detect one . .…

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The blonde girlfriend

One day a blonde was scratching her boyfriend’s car with a ruler. He came out and told her that rulers are used for measuring how long things are. Not for scratching cars. In the morning he went to wake her for breakfast and had noticed that the ruler was under the bed. He said to her, ” I thought I told you your’re suppose to use a ruler for measuring how long things are.” She replied, ” I know, I…

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Bedtime Prayers

A father put his young son to bed every night, and to make sure he said his prayers, the father waited outside the bedroom door and listened. Each night the boy ended his prayers with “God bless mommy, daddy, the dog and the cat.” One day the cat scratched the little boy and that night he finished his prayers, “God bless mommy, daddy and the dog.” The next morning when the family awoke they found the cat dead. A few…

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can i have some of that?

This man and his son where driving down the road the man pulls out a beer and begins taking a drink, his son asks, “dad, can i have a drink?” his dad replies, “son, can your dick touch your ass?” His son jumps in the back seat then comes back up front, “no, dad it can’t.” “sorry, son you can’t have any!” the boys father then pulls out a ciggarette, “Dad, can I have a drink?” the boy asks. “Can…

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Blonde goes to docter part 2

A blonde was working on painting her house when all of a sudden the ladder falls on top of her and she passes out. Not remembering any thing about it, The blonde goes and scratches her self. She feels a pain and immediatley goes to her docter. She sits down and the docter asks her what happened. Well docter, I was painting my house when the ladder fell on top of me and I passed out.That is all I remember.…

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Read JokeBlonde goes to docter part 2