Rye bread Jokes

A man walks into a diner and sees this sign on the wall – “You Win $500 If We Fail To Fill Your Order.” When the waitress approaches him to get his order, the customer says with a naughty wink, “I’ll have elephant nuts on rye.” Without batting an eyelash, the waitress calmly takes down his order and walks to the kitchen where suddenly all hell breaks loose. Then the diner’s owner comes rushing out of the kitchen, slaps five…

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Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Warning: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, but that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On…

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Just in case we need any additional proof that the “bozo index” is at all time highs (and going higher), consider these for-real label instructions on consumer goods: ************************************* On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that…

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