Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. “Wow…that looks deep.” “Sure does… toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is.” They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait… no noise. “Jeeez. That is REALLY deep… here.. throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise.” They pick up a couple of football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and…
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It was early one Saturday morning. A friend of mine called to warn me of a group of Jehovah Witnesses working our neighborhood. I thought it would be funny if I appeared at the door totally nude and holding a beer. I looked out the window and saw a man in a suit, a well-dressed woman and two young girls carrying what looked like a bag. As soon as the doorbell rang, I opened it. Acting very drunk, I asked…
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01. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper. 02. In the memo field of all your checks write “for sensual massage.” 03. Specify that your drivethrough order is “to go.” 04. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.” 05. Reply to everything someone says with, “that’s what YOU think.” 06. Finish all your sentences with the words, “in accordance with prophecy.” 07. Signal…
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When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling of unfriendliness, and since several of you have called me a “dirty son of a bitch” to my face, I knew I must have done something wrong at the office New Year’s Party. The Office Manager called me from the hospital today, and as this is my last day on the job, I’d like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I…
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ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile AMC -All Makes Combined AMC -A Major Cost AMC -A Mutated Car AMC -A Moron’s Car AMC -Another Major Catastrophe AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence AUDI -All Unsafe Designs Implemented AUDI -Another Ugly Duetsche Invention AUDI -Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence AUDI -Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc. BMW -Babbling Mechanical Wench BMW -Beastly Monsterous Wonder BMW -Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels BMW -Beautiful Mechanical Wonder BMW -Barely Moving Wreck BMW -Big Money Waste BMW -Big Money. Why?…
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Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself being sized up by God…. “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows ’95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to let you decide where you want to go.” Bill replied,…
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1. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plan you right here! 2. Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let’s go screw. 3. Just call me milk, I’ll do your body good. 4. Your body’s name must be visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be. 5. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? 6. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work. One day, she was in bed with her boyfriend Ralph, when she heard her husband’s car pull in the driveway. She yelled at Ralph, “Hurry! grab your clothes and jump out the window, my husband is home early!” Ralph looked out the window and said, “I can’t jump out the window! It’s raining like hell out there.” Mary cried, “If my husband catches us in here,…
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