Republican Jokes - page 2

Kindergarten Politics

A liberal kindergarten teacher taught a class of thirty. On election day, she asked the students to raise their hand if they were Democrats. 29 students raised their hands. She asked the kid with his hand down if he was a Republican. “Yes”, the boy replied. The teacher asked why and the boy said because his parents were. “Well if your parents are total morons, what does that make you?” “A Democrat.”

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Twas the Night before Crisis

Twas the night before crisis, And behind White House doors, Not a creature was stirring, Especially Al Gore. The interns were nestled, Dressed in their berets, In hopes that Saint Bubba Would come out to play. When on the East Lawn, There arose such a clatter, Even Sam Donaldson Lost control of his bladder. Away to our TVs We flew like a flash, There’s a special report, And it’s pre-empting M*A*S*H! And what to our wondering Eyes should appear, But…

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Bush in Office

December 30, 2004/Washington, D.C.(Associated Press) After four years of legal wrangling, George W. Bush was finally declared the winner of the 2000 Presidential Election yesterday. Bush, a Republican, will take the oath of office at noon today and serves until January 20, 2005, a term of about three weeks. Then he gives way to the undisputed winner of the 2004 Presidential Election, New York Senator Hillary Rodham Greenspan (formerly Clinton). Facing a drastically shortened presidency, Bush attempted to strike an…

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The candidate

One day a conservative Presidential candidate decided that he needed more exposure in front of the farming community of the country. So, he set out on his journey across America to visit different agricultural communities. As he was traveling down a dirt road in a small town his eyes fell upon a farmer working out in his field. He decided that this was as good a place as any to start his campaigning, and so he parked his car and…

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Puppies for Sale!

One day while Bill Clinton was doing his morning jogging he noticed a little boy standing outside the White House gates. As curiosity got the best of him, Bill jogged over to the gates to see what the little boy was doing. As he approached the gates Bill was taken by surprise when he noticed a sign saying “Democratic Dogs For Sale”. Bill asked the boy about the dogs he was trying to sell. “What’s up son?” Bill asked. To…

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Wisdom to live by

People are more violently opposed to fur than to leather because it’s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t. Under Democrats, man exploits man. Under Republicans, it’s just the reverse. Today is the last day of your life, so far.

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Five Short Ones About Kids

My grandson was telling me that he and his three playmates attended different churches. Then he added, “It really doesn’t matter if we go to different churches, does it, Grandma, as long as we’re all Republicans?” A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, “No, I’m the lonely child.” My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally…

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Lesser of Two Evils?

The two major party presidential candidates agreed that Americans are seeing too much inappropriate material in popular entertainment. However, they disagreed on the details. Republican Texas governor, George W. Bush stated that there is too much bloody violence in the movies and on television. Vice President Al Gore meanwhile stated that the media present Americans with too much sex and frontal nudity. In other words, Bush says there is too much gore and Gore says there is too much bush.

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