Red ant Jokes

Dua Lipa ‘Categorically’ Denies Agent Fired for Being Anti-Kneecap (Yes, That’s the Band’s Name)

Dua Lipa ‘Categorically’ Denies Agent Fired for Being Anti-Kneecap (Yes, That’s the Band’s Name). The pop star and her talent agency are scrambling to clarify that reports of her sacking agent, a man named David Levy, are ‘categorically false.’ Apparently, the rumor mill had her giving him the boot because he allegedly signed a letter urging Glastonbury to drop a pro-Palestine Irish rap group called Kneecap from its lineup. ? So, to be clear, no one’s getting kneecapped over Kneecap……

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDua Lipa ‘Categorically’ Denies Agent Fired for Being Anti-Kneecap (Yes, That’s the Band’s Name)

A Redneck MaMa’s Letter to her Son

Dear Son: Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive. I will write this letter slowly because I know you can’t read fast. First the big news…your Dad heard that most accidents happen close to home so we moved. You won’t know the house when you come home as I can’t send you the address because the last redneck family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn’t have to change their address.…

(3)Loading...

Read JokeA Redneck MaMa’s Letter to her Son

Elephant Q&A

Do you know how to pass an elephant under the door? Put him in an envelope… What if it doesn’t fit? Take off the seal… How do you hide an elephant in an strawberry field? Paint his nails red… How do you make an elephant not pass by the door? Make a knot in his tail… How do you know that there is an elephant in the pool? There is a round pair of shoes beside the pool… How does…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeElephant Q&A

Boredom plus Wrong Number is Fun

It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. “Hello?” I said. A girl’s voice came over the line. “Can I speak to Ben, please?” I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was bored. I replied, “I’m sorry, he’s not in right now. Can I take a message?” “Do you know what time he’ll be back?” she responded. “I…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeBoredom plus Wrong Number is Fun

Little Johnny’s Letter to Santa

Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I’m writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have happened since the beginning of the month! (While full of hope, I wrote you a letter.) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I absolutely wrecked my brain studying all year! Not only was I first in my class, but I…

(17)Loading...

Read JokeLittle Johnny’s Letter to Santa

Little Red Mouse

One day a boy came home from school with a problem. His dick was too big. He said to his mother, “Mom, my dick’s too big, what should I do?” She replied, “Ask your father about that.” So, the boy entered the living room and said to his father, “Dad, my dick’s too big, what should I do?” He answered, “Paint it red and call it your Little Red Mouse.” The boy did as he was told and went to…

(4)Loading...

Read JokeLittle Red Mouse

Elephant’s Nod

One day at the fair, there is an elephant. Next to the elephant is a sign: “MAKE THE ELEPHANT NOD, WIN $1000” Many people tried and failed, none could make the elephant nod its head. Finally, an elderly man walked over and grabbed the elephant’s balls. The animal roared in pain and reared its head up and down. The man walked off with the prize money. The next day, there is a new sign next to the elephant, which reads:…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeElephant’s Nod

The Important Things in Life

My grandfather, who had lived his whole 90 years in Boston, was admitted to the hospital with a serious infection. The situation worsened, and the doctors were very concerned for his life. The hospital priest went in to give Pop communion and asked if he would like to pray for “something.” Pop hesitated for a moment, then said that being in the bed had given him time to think about the truly important things in life, and yes he would…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeThe Important Things in Life

Unruly Tenants

A man mentioned to his landlord that the tenants in the apartment above his were being a bit unruly. “Many a night they stomp on the floor and shout till around midnight.” When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, “Not really because I usually stay up and practice my trumpet till about that time most every night, anyway.”

(1)Loading...

Read JokeUnruly Tenants

Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood was getting ready to go and visit her grandmother in the forest and her mother said “You’d better not go out tonight, Little Red Riding Hood, because the big bad wolf’s out and you know what he’ll do; He’ll lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and f**k your little red socks off.” But Little Red Riding Hood pulled out a shotgun and said, “Don’t worry Mum, I’ve got it covered.”…

(3)Loading...

Read JokeRed Riding Hood