Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Pilots flying heavy iron are sometimes known for their lighthearted jibes at pilots of smaller aircraft. One day at Toronto’s Pearson International Airport, an A-340 was in line for departure behind a Fokker F-28, an aircraft that has a tail that splits to act as a large speedbrake. The Airbus captain was heard on the radio, making some comment about the “cute little plane” in front of him and boasting about the brand new jumbo he was flying. In response,…
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This is supposedly a TRUE story: On a San Francisco to LA shuttle flight, there was a 45 minute delay and all on-board passengers were “ticked”. Without warning, the plane made a stop in Sacramento. A flight attendant informed the passengers of the delay, and invited folks to exit the aircraft if they wished, advising that they should return in 30 minutes. All exited, except for one man who was blind and traveling with his guide dog, who was resting…
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[Note: this joke is better told than read] As Veteran’s Day approached, a Minnesota pastor decided it would be a good idea to have members of his congregation speak about their wartime activities. After a little research, he discovered that one of his parishioners was a fighter pilot for Norway. He asked the man to speak to the congregation, and the old pilot reluctantly agreed. After starting slowly, the old flyer warmed to the task. “Ja, I vas a Norvegian…
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Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?” “The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine, and wouldn’t fly the plane, until the problem was corrected,” he explained. “And it took an hour to correct the problem?” the passenger asked. “No,” the flight attendant replied, “It took an hour…
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Pilot to Co-pilot: We are approaching an airport with a notoriously short runway. When I give the commands, execute them immediately! Co-pilot: Roger. Pilot: Flaps full down Co-pilot: Roger. Flaps are full down. Pilot: Air speed 180. Co-pilot: Air speed 180. Pilot: Landing gear down. Co-pilot: Landing gear is down and locked. Pilot: As soon as we touch down, I want engines in full reverse and brakes on maximum. Co-pilot: Roger. They hit the runway with engines in full reverse,…
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Jim went to the unemployment office to get a job. He told the lady he was a pilot. She said she had a job for him and to start in the morning. Bob, his brother, also went to get a job after his brother told him how he got his job. He told the same lady he was a woodcutter. She had no jobs for a woodcutter. He asked how his brother was able to get a job so easily.…
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ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the “new, improved” method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ARCHAEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest – penalty for…
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Susie Sunshine asked her Sunday School Class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Little Johnny’s picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. “The Flight to Egypt,” said Johnny. “I see. . . And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,”she said. “But who’s the fourth person?” “Oh, that’s Pontius — the pilot!”
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There’s a blonde sitting on an airplane when a gentleman walks up and says “Excuse me, miss, but you are sitting in my seat.” The blonde responds, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful and I’m going to Dallas!” and remains seated. The guy says, “But you are sitting in MY seat. You need to find your seat.” She once again says, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful and I’m going to Dallas!” and doesn’t budge. The man is perturbed and calls the flight attendant…
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A short excerpt from the first solo Canadian space flight. The lone Canadian is guided by NASA and the ship contains himself and two pigs. Naturally the NASA ground technicians are upset over the lack of an American. During the flight the following conversation was recorded between ground control and the crew: NASA: Hello, this is Ground Control for Pig 1. Pig 1, are you reading me? CP1: This is pig 1 for Ground Control. Reading you loud and clear.…
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