Pheasant Jokes

History of Giving the Finger

History of ‘Giving the Finger’… Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the use of their middle finger, they would be incapable of fighting in the future using the longbow. This famous weapon, the longbow, was made from the native English Yew tree. The act of drawing the longbow was known as “plucking the yew” (or “pluck yew”). Much to…

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To the Top

There was a pheasant sitting on a branch,trying to get to the top of the tree, but just didn’t have the energy to get to the very top. He looked down and there was this bull right below him at the base of the tree. The bull looked up and could see the frustration in the pheasant’s eyes, and said, “Whats Wrong?” The pheasant told him he needed to get to the top, but just didn’t have enough strength. The…

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B.S. to the Top!

A pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of the yonder tree,” sighed the pheasant, “but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The pheasant pecked at a lump of do-do and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day,…

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Seymour in Heaven

Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. “Hungry, Seymour?” the Lord asked. “I could eat,” said Seymour. The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it. While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants devouring enormous steaks, pheasant, pastries and vodka. The next day, the Lord again asked Seymour if he were hungry, and Seymour again…

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