Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
In the land of cannibals, the cannibals cook was busying himself with a stew pot. Adding spices, tasting the broth, and stirring. Repeating the steps as often as a cook should. A while later the cannibal chief walks up and asks, “Whacha, makin?” “SOUP!” yelled the cannibal cook. Seeing that the cook was not in a good mood, the chief decided to change the subject by asking, “So how’s the family?” “They’re all fine, I guess. BUT I JUST CAN’T…
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Back in the 1920’s, Americans were not yet accustomed to strangers of particularly exotic appearance, and when Wellington Koo served as Chinese representative at the Washington Conference in 1921, he was much more a curiosity than he would have been a generation later. At one social function, a Washington lady found herself next to Koo and was utterly unable to think of a thing to say. Finally, after the soup, she nerved herself to ask, in very clear tones so…
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A man sits down at a restaurant and looks at the menu. He tells the waiter, “I think I will have the turtle soup.” The waiter leaves, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants pea soup, instead. He calls out to the waiter, “Excuse me, can you hold the turtle and make it pea?”
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HOW ABOUT THESE SIMPLE JOKES…. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef. Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him. Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have phones. Why do bagpipers walk when they play? They’re trying to get away from the noise. Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than…
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A man goes to a fancy steakhouse, one of the fanciest in town, and orders the house special. The waiter brings the first course, soup, and the man notices the waiter’s thumb in the soup. He is about to protest, but says nothing; after all, this was a fancy restaurant, one of the city’s best. When the waiter brings the steak, our man sees his thumb on the steak. He speaks up to ask, “Why did you put your thumb…
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English in Non-English Speaking Countries! Examples of how English is being used in different parts of the world: In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In…
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“I love cats…they taste just like chicken” “Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.” “Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death” “Cover me. I’m changing lanes.” “As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in publicschools” “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” “Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.” “Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.” “REHAB is for quitters” “I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!” “Sometimes I…
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Hop Sing was a cook on the Ponderosa Ranch. All the cowboys loved to poke fun at him because, being Chinese, he had a pigtail and wore a funny hat. He also couldn’t speak English very well. The cowboys used to put live snakes and frogs in his bed and pulled on his pigtail, just to tease him. Hop Sing, however, never complained and kept on working. He was a good sport. One day, the cowboys got together and said:…
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~The following are actual winning analogies in the “worst analogies ever written in a high school essay” contest~ They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers…
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NEW YORK It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun. The penalty for jumping off a building is death. NEW JERSEY You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service only. In Ocean City, it is against the law to slurp your soup at a restaurant. CALIFORNIA It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license. Women may not drive in a house coat. FLORIDA It is illegal to…
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