Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make their announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…” “We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wings.” “Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person…
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With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society….. DIRECTRA: a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent. PROJECTRA: men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting…
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Mr. Reiss got himself a new secretary. Maggie was young, sweet and polite. She was also quite witty. One day while taking dictation, Maggie noticed his fly was open and, on leaving the room, she said “Oh, Mr Reiss, did you know that your barracks door is open?” He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new secretary. Calling…
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A man goes to a doctor and says “Doc, I have a problem but you have to promise not to laugh.” “That would be totally unprofessional,” says the doctor, “of course I won’t laugh. I’ve been practicing medicine for twenty years and I’ve never laughed at a patient.” “All right,” says the man. He opens his fly, and the doctor is greeted with the tiniest penis he has ever seen in his life. Unable to control himself, he falls down…
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Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. The average secretary’s left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in…
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Mother taught her son to go to the bathroom by the numbers: 1. Open your fly. 2. Take out your equipment. 3. Pull back the skin. 4. Do your business. 5. Let the skin forward. 6. Stow your equipment. 7. Close your fly. She did check on him often to see if he had learned the lesson, and heard 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. She was very happy until one day she checked and heard 3-5, 3-5, 3-5.
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Pilots flying heavy iron are sometimes known for their lighthearted jibes at pilots of smaller aircraft. One day at Toronto’s Pearson International Airport, an A-340 was in line for departure behind a Fokker F-28, an aircraft that has a tail that splits to act as a large speedbrake. The Airbus captain was heard on the radio, making some comment about the “cute little plane” in front of him and boasting about the brand new jumbo he was flying. In response,…
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Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…
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EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts. SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not. CROSSEYES: Looks into next urinal to see how other guy is hung. TIMID: Cannot piss if someone is wastching, flushes urinal, comes back later. INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink. CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor. FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down, and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug. WORRIED:…
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