Omes Jokes

“EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES” Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern. “YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU (When you die)” Well….., that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly…

(1)Loading...

Two opposing laywers in a big civil lawsuit are both called into Judge Judy’s chamber. Judge Judy looks sternly at both men and says, “Yesterday, Mr. Martin here gave me ten thousand dollars so that I can render the decision in his favor. That same afternoon Mr. Rowan here paid me a visit and gave me fifteen thousand dollars so that I will look at his cause more favorably.” Mr. Rowan and Mr. Martin are now squirming in their seats…

(0)
Loading...

Danish born comedian and pianist Victor Borge had just completed the purchase of a chicken farm. “Do you know anything about breeding chickens?” asked a friend, astonished to learn of this new acquisition. “No,” replied Borge, “but the chickens do.”

(0)
Loading...

There were two guys named Shut-up and Trouble. One day Shut-up said to Trouble,”Hey, Trouble let’s play hide and seek!” “Okay,” says Trouble. Shut-up goes and hides in a dumpster and a police officer comes to him and says, “What’s your name boy?” So Shut-up says, “Shut-up.” “What is your name, boy?” “Shut-up!” “Are you looking for Trouble, boy?” “No, Trouble is looking for me!” The End!

(0)
Loading...

It’s the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He’s a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in. “Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?” he says. “That’s cool,” says Bobby. Carrie’s father asks Bobby what they’re planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie. Carrie’s…

(4)Loading...