Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They let the bitch do it after she finishes the dishes. How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch. Why do men fart more than women? Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure. Why did God give men penises? So we’d always have at least one way to shut a…
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A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman “Give me six double vodkas.” The barman says “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay…
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Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what…
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At a bridal shower, every guest was asked to introduce herself and explain how she met Kimberly, the bride-to-be. “I met Kimberly while dating her brother Bob,” the first young woman said. The second girl gave the same answer. The third woman said she was Bob’s current girlfriend. An older woman that was sitting next promptly said. “It’s nice to meet all of you,” she announced with a grin. “But I think I’d really rather meet Bob.”
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An 85 year old woman was standing at a bus stop. The wind was really blowing. She had her hands up on her head holding her hat to keep it from blowing away. With her hands on her hat the wind was blowing her dress up over her waist. Everything could be seen. A young man came up to her and asked, “Why are standing in the wind holding your hat? Your dress blowing over your waist. Everyone at the…
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Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea. “I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous.” My Billy used to do the same things,” the older woman replied, “but I broke him of that pesky habit.” “How?” “I hid his teeth!”
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Why are men like lawn mowers? If you’re not pushing one around, then you’re riding it. Why is a hard man good to find? You don’t have to stay up half the night massaging his ego. How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix? It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn’t need it anyway. What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run or don’t fit right…
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The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This was serious and written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II – a mere 54 years ago! Obviously, the intent was not to be “funny,” but by today’s standards, this is hilarious! For those of you with efficiency issues, pay attention to #8. ———————————— Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: There’s no longer any question whether…
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The story is told of a lady who was rather old fashioned, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were planning a weeks vacation to Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground asking for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn’t quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn’t bring herself to write the word “toilet” in her letter. After much deliberation,…
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Guyness Quiz Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a.…
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