Ok dad Jokes

It’s Okay, Dad!

A man, in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. “Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man said. “Aw, Dad, it’s okay,” his son said. “The police car right behind us did the same thing.”

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Dad’s Practical Jokes

Parents are embarrassing, Take my dad. Every time a friend comes to stay the night, he does something that makes my face go red. Now don’t get me wrong. He is a terrific dad. I love him but sometimes I think he will never grow up. He loves playing practical jokes. This behavior first started one night when Anna came to sleep over. Unknown to me, dad sneaks into my room and puts Doona, our cat, on the spare bed.…

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Daddy’s too fat

One night Little Jimmy couldn’t sleep, so he goes and walks to his parents room. The door was opened up a crack. Little Jimmy looks in and sees his mother on top of the father bouncing up and down. So Little Jimmy, thinking they were busy, he went back to his bed and went to sleep. The next morning, Little Jimmy asks his mother why she was bouncing up and down on Daddy. Suprised of what her son had said,…

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Children’s books you’ll NEVER see…

“You Are Different and That’s Bad” “Dad’s New Wife Timothy” “Pop! Goes The Hamster….And Other Great Microwave Games” “Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household Pets” “Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence” “The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables” “Start a Real Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom’s Purse” “The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy” “Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will” “The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead” “How to Become The Dominant…

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Aww, Daddy . . .

My 3-year-old daughter, Sarah, has the normal speech problem that most kids have when they are at this age. She can’t say her C’s. They come out T’s, and the R’s come out like W’s. My husband sleeps in his underwear. He woke up one morning and started to walk to the bathroom, just as my daughter walked out of her room. She stopped him dead in his tracks, pointed to his “package,” and said, “Awww, Daddy, you got TWAP…

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Daddy, where did I come from?

“Daddy, where did I come from?” the seven-year-old asked. It was a moment for which her parents had carefully prepared. They took her into the living room, got out the encyclopedia and several other books, and explained all they thought she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproduction. Then they both sat back and smiled contentedly. “Does that answer your question?” her father asked. “Not really,” the little girl said. “Judy said she came from Detroit. I want…

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20–Yo mama jokes!!!

1)Yo mama’s lips are so big, Chapstick had to make an aerosol. 2)Yo mama is sooo fat, her high school Sr picture was taken from a blimp. 3)Yo mama is soo fat, she got more chins than China town. 4)Yo mama’s so fat, you can’t even see her legs……it just looks like she is glidin across the floor. 5)Yo mama’s soooo fat, when she goes to check the mail….it measures on the rector scale. 6)Yo mama ain’t got any back,…

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Mommy, Mommy! Jokes

Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn’t eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf. Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven’t even finished your Grandmother yet. Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts. Shut up and eat what’s put in front of you. Mommy, Mommy! What’s an Oedipus complex? Shut up and kiss me! Mommy, Mommy! What’s for dinner? Shut up and get back in the…

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Clinton Joke No. 15646

President Clinton was at the beach and got into trouble while swimming. He called for help, and three young men went to his rescue and pulled him ashore. Clinton wanted to show his gratitude, so he offered to give each of the young men what they would like, within reason. The first young man said that he would like to have a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Clinton told him he could select it and to just send him the bill. The…

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Read JokeClinton Joke No. 15646