New doctor Jokes

Doctor’s News

A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, “I have to tell you something about your baby.” The woman sits up in bed and says,”What’s wrong with my baby, Doctor? What’s wrong???” The doctor says, “Well, now, nothing’s wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite.” The woman says, “A hermaphrodite…. what’s that???” The doctor says, “Well, it means your baby has the…er..features …of a…

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Bad News from the Doctor

A young couple decided to tie the knot, so they went to the doctor for physical exams. Afterward the doctor called the young man into his office and told him he had some good news and some bad news. “The good news,” he explained, “is that your fianc?e has gonorrhea.” The guy paled. “If that’s the good news, then what the hell is the bad news!?” “Well,” the doctor elaborated, “The bad news is that she didn’t get it from…

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Good News, Bad News

A man went to his doctor for a check up. At the end of the appointment his doctor said, ” I have some good news and some bad news.” The man said, “What’s the bad news?” The doctor said, “You have 3 days to live.” Frantic, the man asked,” And what’s the good news?” The doctor replied, “You know the receptionist with the humongous tits? I’m f*cking her.”

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Read JokeGood News, Bad News

Blonde newlywed

A week after their marriage, these newlyweds paid a visit to their doctor. “I can’t figure it out Doctor, my testicles are turning purple!?.” The doctor examined him and confirmed the unusual condition. He asked the wife (a blonde, of course), “Are you using the diaphragm I prescribed?” “Yes.” she replied. “And what kind of jelly are you using?” the doctor then asked. “Grape.” she said.

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Read JokeBlonde newlywed

GOOD NEWS

A lovely blonde had just had a complete physical after having missed two consecutive menstrual periods. “Well, Mrs. Appleby,” smiled her doctor. “I have good news for you.” “Wait, Doctor,” she interrupted. “It’s not MRS. Appleby…it’s MISS Appleby.” “Oh,” said the doctor. “In that case, Miss Appleby, I have bad news for you.”

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Read JokeGOOD NEWS

Good News Nurse

There is a guy who begins to suffer massive headaches. He goes to the doctor and says, “Hey doc, I?ve got these headaches… can you check it out and tell me what?s going on?” Doc says, “Sure, come on back in a couple days after we analyze some tests.” Guy comes back, and the doctor tells him, “We?ve got good news and bad news.” Guy says, “Let?s hear the bad news.” Doc sez, “You?ve got a week to live.” Guy…

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Little Johnny meets new baby

Little Johnny’s next door neighbors had recently had a baby. Due to complications, the baby was born without ears. Little Johnny’s parents decided to go and see the new baby one day. Johnny’s father explained to him about the baby and told Johnny not to make the slightest hint about the baby’s ears. Johnny agreed and said that he would be on his best behavior and say nothing about the baby’s ears. Johnny and his family went to the baby’s…

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Read JokeLittle Johnny meets new baby

New Barbie Dolls for Christmas 1999

Now that Barbie is nearing 40, we’ve created new dolls that more realistically reflect her current life-style. 1. Bifocals Barbie: Includes her own set of blended lens fashion frames in 6 wild colors. Includes neck chain and large print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living. 2. Hot Flash Barbie: Press Barbie’s bellybutton and see her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead and upper lip. Complete with tiny tissues. 3. Facial Hair Barbie:…

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Doctor’s Office

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn’t considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, “I’m delivering him to my doctor’s office.” The other…

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Read JokeDoctor’s Office

Doctor

A man goes to the doctor who tells him that he has some bad news. The doctor tells him he a has cancer and alzheimers, to which the man replies: “Well, at least I don’t have cancer”

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