Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o’clock in the morning, with beer on your breath, and lipstick on your collar?” “There is,” he replied. “I’d like some breakfast.”
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It’s Harold’s first day in the car pool. They honk the horn in front of his house and he comes running out. He gets about halfway down the walkway when he hears a grunt and the sound of his wife’s foot tapping on the porch. He turns around and there she is, scowling at him. He runs back to the steps, spreads her bathrobe, bends over, kisses her on the privates, runs back down the walkway and hops in the…
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A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. “Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. “His father replied, “Don’t you love this girl?” “Oh yes, very much,” he said,” but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that…
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While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball. Seeing no one around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. “What’s that ?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust. “Tennis ball,” came the breathless reply. “Oh,” said…
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Unbelievable, but these are from a book called “Disorder in the Court.” These are things people actually said in court, word for word: Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. ————————————————— Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ————————————————— Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your…
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Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. Q: How old is your son-the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He…
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SYSTEM: Attention. Alert registered. CENTRAL: Alert? Number One, report! NUMBER ONE: Sir! We’re picking up loud music. CENTRAL: Music? We were just asleep! NUMBER ONE: Yes sir. Ears report it’s “The Last Train to Clarksville.” CENTRAL: Good lord, are we being tortured? NUMBER ONE: Sir, Eyes are functional and request instruction. CENTRAL: Tell them to open up and try to find out what is going on. NUMBER ONE: Scope! Okay, I see darkness… darkness… Wait, there’s a woman sleeping there.…
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He: Haven’t we met before? She: Yes, I’m the receptionist at the Bad Breath Clinic. He: Is this seat empty? She: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. He: So, wanna go back to my place? She: I don’t know. Can two people fit under a rock? He: Your place or mine? She: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine. He: So what do you do for a living? She: I’m a female…
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Seven-year-old little Johnny, like other boys his age, are rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from the other boys, and he wondered just what it was all about. One day he asked his mother, and she became quite flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains later that night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. So he did this, and the next morning he gave this…
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1 – My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the hell she is. 2 – The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. 3 – I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up. 4 – I have to exercise early in the morning before my…
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