Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o’clock in the morning, with beer on your breath, and lipstick on your collar?” “There is,” he replied. “I’d like some breakfast.”
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Pregnant with our third child and experiencing morning sickness, I was resting on the living room couch. Workmen were doing some minor repairs in the house. As one walked by, I explained, “Don’t mind me. I’m in my first trimester.” “Oh,” he said. “What’s your major?” Realizing he didn’t know his biology and not wanting to embarrass him, I replied, “Oh, I guess you could say ‘Early Childhood Development.’”
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One night a guy got really drunk. In the morning, he rolled over and sleeping peacefully beside him was the ugliest girl he’d ever seen. Very quietly, he slipped his arm out from under her, got up, and dressed as fast as he could. He put a twenty-dollar bill on the bureau and started to tip-toe out. Just then he felt a tug on his pant leg. Looking down, he saw a girl just as ugly as the one in…
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Did you hear about the new morning-after pill for men? It changes their blood type.
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Your girlfriend is the centerfold in playboy, your son is on the wheaties box, and your wife is on the milk carton.
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Dan went to his friend’s house, unannounced, and he wanted to spend the night. His friend was sorry that he could not offer him a whole room, so he said, “You can either sleep on the floor in the living room or you can sleep in the room with Baby.” Dan said that he would prefer the floor. The next morning, he went to the bathroom, and there he met this gorgeous young blonde. “Hi,” he said, “who are you?”…
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Mr. Reiss got himself a new secretary. Maggie was young, sweet and polite. She was also quite witty. One day while taking dictation, Maggie noticed his fly was open and, on leaving the room, she said “Oh, Mr Reiss, did you know that your barracks door is open?” He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new secretary. Calling…
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By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where. “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant – an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m…
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There was a blonde nurse that worked at a nursing home. She came into the nursing home one morning with this red permanent marker in her breast pocket. The CNA said to her, “Why are you carrying around a red permanent marker in your pocket?” Then she looks at the CNA and adds: “I carry around the red pen in case I have to draw blood!”
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Saturday morning, Phil arrives at the club for a golf date when he remembers that he forgot to let his wife know that Sears is delivering the new couch around noon. He picks up the phone in the lounge and calls home. “Hello”, says a little girl’s voice. “Hi, honey, it’s Daddy. Can I speak to Mommy please.” “No, Daddy, she’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Ted. This stops Phil for a moment. “Sweetie, you don’t have an Uncle…
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