Mark Twain’s Suggestion
Mark Twain sat on the train next to a gloom-and-doomer who said, “Do you realize that every time I take a breath, 10,000 people on this planet die?” Twain replied, “Hmmmm . . . ever try cloves?”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Mark twain Jokes
The Art of Profanity
Mark Twain’s wife did her best to censor the more colorful aspects of her husband’s language. One morning he cut himself shaving and cursed long and loud. When he stopped, his wife tried to shame him by repeating to him verbatim all the profanities that he had just uttered. Twain heard her out and then remarked, “You have the words, my dear, but I’m afraid you’ll never master the tune.”
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Profession definitions
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain) An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today. A statistician is someone who is…
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