Man steps Jokes

Sage Advice on Winning the Man of Your Dreams

Sage Advice on Winning the Man of Your Dreams Many women are under the impression that if they are attractive, conscientious and treat a guy really well, they have a chance of winning their guy. But let’s be honest: has this ever really worked for you? Probably not. There’s a much more effective method. It may seem insane, but it works! To capture the man of your dreams, this is what you must do: 1) Act like you really, really…

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Courtroom Disruptions

A man is standing trial for the alleged murder of his wife. The presiding judge is reading the charges to the accused. The judge reads, “You are hereby accused of first degree murder for killing your wife by crushing her skull with a hammer…” Just then a male voice from among the courtroom spectators says, “Bloody bastard!” The judge pauses to see who has said that and then he resumes, “How do you plead?” The accused says, “Not guilty, your…

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50th Wedding Anniversary

A couple goes back to their original honeymoon hotel for a celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary. After all the family festivities they retire to the original room they stayed in on their honeymoon night 50 years prior. The woman is done with her bathroom antics and her husband takes her place for his turn to get ready. The elderly man takes quite awhile in the bathroom, as is his norm, and his wife spends the time figuring out the…

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The 12 days of christmas

Miss Agnes McHolstein 69 Cash Ave. Beaver Valley, CO Dec. 14, 1986 My Darling, I went to the door today and the postman delivered a “partridge in a pear tree”. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. You’re an angel. With all my love and devotion, Agnes Miss Agnes McHolstein Dec. 15, 1986 Darling, Today, the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine “Two turtle doves”. I’m delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are…

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A Horny Camel

A man rents a camel to make a trip to an important customer out in the desert. There is only one camel available and it has one little problem, the camel owner tells him. Periodically, this camel will stop and refuse to move until somebody beats it off. The man is desperate, so he decides he will go along with that. He sets off into the desert. Sure as hell, he has to beat off the camel every day for…

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Snail Tale

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly, he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to…

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12 Days of Christmas

December 14th Dearest John: I went to the door today and UPS was here with a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. With dearest love and affection, Agnes December 15th Dearest John: Today, UPS brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves? I’m just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable. All my love, Agnes December 16th Dear John: Oh, aren’t you the extravagant one! Now…

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ya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…

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Go fish

A country lad applied for a salesman job at a city department store. In fact, it was the largest store in the world. The boss asked, “Have you ever been a salesman before?” “Yes, I was a salesman in the country,” said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said. “You can start tomorrow and I’ll come by when we close to see how you’re doing.” The day was long and arduous for the lad, but finally…

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Circus Act

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age. The circus owner tells them, “I’m not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you bothbetter be good or you’re history. Here’s your equipment – a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to…

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Read JokeCircus Act