Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The following are real messages to the in-house Tech Support E-mail system. From Yesterday: Hi, I seem t;o be having a p9ro;bl/em with my keyb;oard. co;ul/d yo;u co;me up9 and hel/-p9 me o;ut? Thanks, From Today: Soe of the keys that didnt work yesterday are working today ut soe still arent working at all I would tell you which ones they are ut I think you can see for yourself I sorry to e such a pest ut I have…
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WELCOME TO THE E-MAIL WONDERLAND (Sing to the tune of Walking In A Winter Wonderland) Another “ping”, Are you listenin’? The puter screen, Is a glistenin’. With icons so bright, They light up the night, Welcome to the e-mail wonderland! Gone away, Are the hall talks. Here to stay, Is the IN-BOX. Flagged “urgent, please read!”, And “answer with speed!”. Welcome to the e-mail wonderland! In the morning e-mails start to add up. No lunch today cause messages abound. Just…
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How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity In The Workplace 1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you. 3. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point, Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry,…
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“How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace, Part I” ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during he meeting. During the meeting, eat 5 entire raw potatoes. Insist that your e-mail address be “[email protected]” Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him/her…
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…. AnD dRiVe OtHeR PeOpLe iNsAnE: At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them…
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You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and stop to check your E-mail on the way back to bed. You name your children “Eudora,” “AOL” and “Dotcom”. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap, and your CHILD in the overhead compartment. You decide to stay in college for…
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Tech Support calls “YOU” for help. When you are reading something printed, you wish you could use a search function to get to the point. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say “LOL.” When you reply to someone verbally, your fingers start typing your response. You check your e-mail over and over, even when you know there’s nothing there. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on. You have called out someone’s screen name while making…
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IT’S TIME TO TURN YOUR COMPUTER OFF & READ A BOOK WHEN: 1. You wake up at 4 am to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 2. You turn off your computer and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. 3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access. 4. You…
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1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they?re heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they?re heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.…
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Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity to each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted both to go to the same college but, the girl was accepted to a college on the East Coast, and the guy went to a college on the West Coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and to spend anytime they could together. As time…
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