madam

A flat-chested blonde wanted to have her breasts enlarged but she did not want to undergo surgery. So she consulted a witch doctor who gave her a pill to swallow. After swallowing the pill, the blonde was told by the witch doctor that what she had swallowed was a magic pill. Everytime a man would say the word ‘pardon’ to her, her breasts would grow an inch bigger.

After leaving the office of the witch doctor, the blonde bumped into a male pedestrian who said, “Pardon me, ma’am.” Immediately she felt her breasts growing an inch. The blonde was ecstatic that the magic pill was working. At a busy street corner, a hurried delivery boy bumped into her and said, “Beg your pardon, miss.” Again her breasts grew an inch bigger.

Feeling the need to celebrate, the blonde walked into a Chinese restaurant to order her favorite dish. When she was walking towards an unoccupied table, a Chinese waiter accidentally bumped into the blonde. The waiter bowed several times and said, “A thousand pardons, madam!”

The next day, the headlines read, “Chinese waiter crushed by a pair of torpedoes!”

In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami.

“Excuse me,” she said to the manager. “My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks.”

“I’m awfully sorry,” he replied, “but all of our rooms are occupied.”

Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out.

“What luck,” said Mrs. Goldstein. “Now there’s a room.”

“Not so fast, Madam. I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed.”

“Jewish? Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic.”

“I find that hard to believe. Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?”

“Jesus, Son of Mary.”

“Where was he born?”

“In a stable.”

“And why was he born in a stable?”

“Because… a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!”

When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public life, the American Ambassador to France threw a gala dinner party at the Embassy in his honor. At the dinner table, the Ambassador’s wife was chatting with Madame deGaulle.

“Madame,” she began, “Your husband has been such a prominent figure in the world for so long, first as a great General, then as President of the Republic, now as a statesman, what are you most looking forward to in your retirement years?”

A hush fell over the room to hear her response. “Oh, cherie, I look forward to peace, quiet, but most of all……. a penis.”

A shocked silence followed her reply until Le Grand Charles stood and addressed his wife, “Darling, I believe zee Americans pronounce zat word ‘appiness.”

knock knock

who’s there

madam

madam who

ma dam foot’s stuck in the door!!!

hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

knock,knock

who’s there?

“madam”

madam who?

madam foot got stuck under the door…