Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A little girls begins her first day at a new school and the teacher tells her to stand up and tell everyone in the class her name. She stands up, faces the class and says loudly, “Snot Nose Smith!” “Young lady,” the teacher says impatiently. “This won’t be tolerated in my class, now say you correct name” “Snot Nose Smith!” She repeats. “Look here Miss Smith, this is your last chance. Now what is your real name?” “Snot Nose Smith!”…
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There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as “mother”, although she didn’t mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close…
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A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they begin to get ready for bed but the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife in the bathroom, “My little boopey-boo, I’m lonely.” As the woman crosses her room to the husband, she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says,…
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Man walks into a bar. This man is carring a big, black, briefcase type of bag. He sits down at the bar and orders a drink. He removes a thimble from his pocket, pours a little of his drink in this thimble, and puts the thimble inside the bag. Bartender gets a little nosey, and asks what’s in the bag. Man holds up his finger as if to say “wait”, and begins to open the case at the top. He…
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One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell right on his twitchy, little nose. “Oh, please excuse me!” said the bunny. “I didn’t mean to trip over you, but I’m blind and couldn’t see.” “That’s perfectly all right,” replied the snake. To be sure, the snake said, “It was MY fault. I didn’t mean to trip you, but I’m blind, too, and I didn’t see you coming. By…
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‘Twas the night before Christmas, Old Santa was pissed, He cussed out the elves, And threw down his list, “Miserable little pricks, Ungrateful little jerks, I have good mind, To scrap the whole works! I’ve busted my ass, For damn near a year, Instead of ‘Thanks Santa,’ What do I hear? The old lady bitches, ‘Cause I work late at night, The elves want more money, The reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk, And goosed all the maids, Donner is…
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This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as “Millennium Year Application Software System” (MYASS). Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a…
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EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATION Employee Name _______________ Date of Review __________________ KNOWLEDGE: 1.____ The son-of-a-bitch really knows his shit 2.____ Knows only enough to be dangerous 3.____ Only has half a brain and is dangerous 4.____ Fucking brain damaged. His coffee cup has a higher I.Q. ACCURACY: 1.____ Does excellent work; is not preoccupied with pussy 2.____ Pretty good; only occasionally blows it out his ass 3.____ Has to take his shoes off to count higher than ten 4.____ Couldn’t count…
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CLINTON TRAGEDIO AMERICANO (Program notes translated by Rodgers Wood) Cast of Characters: Bill Clinton, tenor – philandering President of the United States Hillary Rodham Clinton, soprano – his long-suffering wife Monica Lewinsky, soprano – a conniving little White House intern Ken Starr, basso – puritanical special prosecutor Henry Hyde, basso – a true believer congressman Linda Tripp, contralto – double-crossing friend of Monica’s Paula Jones, contralto – a wild woman from Arkansas Sam Donaldson, baritone – a television news reporter…
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1.At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2.Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table. 3.Wipe your nose on your date’s sleeve. Twice. 4.Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. 5.Repeat every third third word you say say. 6.Give your claim to fame…
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