Little lady Jokes

little italian lady

A little old Italian lady needed a cab, she got in, the polish cab driver asked, where to? She said Imma goin” downa town, once she got there she said oha no, Mr. cabba driva, imma notta ganna hava enougha money to paya you, the cab driver said, thats ok lady, i’ll just pull down a dark alley, he did, stopped the cab, pull your panties down lady”, she said oh”, Mr. cabba driva, youa gonna getta gyped, my panties…

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2 Dead Monkeys and a Little Old Lady

A little old lady had two monkeys for years. One day one of them died of natural causes. In grief, the second monkey passed away two days later. Not knowing what to do with them, she finally decided to take them to the taxidermist and have them stuffed. After telling the owner of her wishes, he asked her, “Do you want them mounted?” Blushing, she said, “No. Shaking hands will be fine.”

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Little Old Lady goes Shopping

A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the checkout counter, where she told the checkout girl, “Nothing but the best for my little kitten.” The girl at the cash register said, “I’m sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you…

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The Lady & The Ducks

A fancy lady on vacation took a stroll through the woods. Suddenly a little white duck, all covered with crap, crossed her path. “Oh, dear,” exclaimed the lady, “Come on, I’ll clean you!” She took a Kleenex from her purse and did a good cleaning. She walked on a little farther and another duck, with crap all over it, crossed her way. Again she took a Kleenex and cleaned the little bird. Then she encountered a third duck, with the…

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The Little Pirate

It’s Halloween and little Johnny is Trick-or-Treating and is dressed up as a pirate. He comes up to a house and a nice old lady answers the door. The lady looks at Johnny and says, ‘What a cute pirate. Where are your little buccaneers??’ Johnny looks at the lady and says, ‘They’re under my buck’en (F*****G) hat!!’

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The Little Red Man

One day a little red man came home from work in his little red car and parked on his little red driveway. He got out and walked up his little red path into his little red house. He walked up his little red stairs and into his little red bathroom. He took his little red clothes off and walk into his little red shower. After his shower he put his little red towel around himself, walked out of his little…

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Tricky Old Lady

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, “It’s a lot of money!” After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president’s office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, “$165,000!” and dumped the cash…

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Hello, little boy

(This joke is very visual) One day a young boy was walking to school. He cut through an alley where he met a hooker. “Hello little boy.” said the hooker as she waved her pinky finger at him. ‘What’s up with the pinky?’ thought the boy. After school the boy went back through the alley and the hooker was back again. “Hello little boy,” she said and waved at him with her pinky finger. ‘Again with the pinky, what’s up…

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The old lady

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, ” Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn’t really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was farting because they don’t smell and are silent.” The doctor says, “I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week.”…

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Little Johnny’s First Job

Little Johnny got his first job as a busboy in a restaurant. After a lady spills her drink, she requested little Johnny to clean up her mess. Little Johnny was too busy avoiding work so he never got to her. The lady then found Little Johnny flirting with a young lady at the corner of the restaurant. Angrily she went and said, “Listen, busboy, I thought I told you to clean my mess up.” Frustrated, Little Johnny said, “Geez, lady,…

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