Jew Jokes

A Meshulach comes knocking on a very wealthy person’s door and when the gentleman of the house answers, the Meshulach greets him, “Sholom Aleichem, Mr. Goldstein, I’m collecting for the Lotsa Gelt Yeshivah, and I’m wondering if a nice, wealthy Jewish person like yourself wouldn’t want to make a little contribution.” The homeowner replies, “The name is Gold, not Goldstein, and I am not Jewish.” “Are you sure?” asks the Meshulach. “Sir, I am positive,” replies the homeowner. “But,” says…

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A Jewish girl came home one day and said, “Ma, I got married.” Her mother said, “Oy, that’s great.” The girl said, “But Ma, he’s an Arab.” Her mother said, “Oy, that’s not so great.” The girl said, “But Ma, he’s an Arab sheik. He’s wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. You and Daddy are going to live in the lap of luxury for the rest of your lives.” Six months later the Jewish girl walked into the house and said,…

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A Jewish girl runs up to her father and says, “Daddy, Daddy, I need $50.” He says, “$40? What do you need $30 for? I think I have $20 in my wallet. Let me check. No, sorry, I only have $10 in ones. But since I am such a kind and loving father, I am going to let you borrow one of them. And at only half interest, too.”

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