Intersection Jokes

drivers ed?

Two elderly men are out driving in a large car, and both can barely see over the dashboard. As they are cruising along they come to an intersection. The stoplight is red but they just go sailing on through. The man in the passenger seat thinks to himself, “I must be losing my mind. I swear we just went through a red light.” They come to another intersection and the light is red again, but again they go right through.…

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Religious Thoughts

The other day I went into the local religious book store where I saw a “Honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car and I’m really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at a light at a busy intersection, just lost in thoughts of the Lord and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots…

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Coming to a Complete Stop

A police officer pulled over a red Porsche after it had run a stop sign. He walked up to the car door and said, “Sir, May I see your driver’s license and registration please?” The driver said, “What’s the problem, officer?” “Your just ran the stop sign back there at the last intersection.” “Oh, come on pal, there wasn’t a car within miles of me!” “Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and…

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All In The Family

A car was involved in an accident at a street intersection. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story, could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, “Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim.” The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

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Read what you write

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought the window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming…

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Three Red Lights

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car — both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it; I could have sworn we just went through a red light”. After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again and…

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Help “the Juice”!

A guy is driving along the freeway in Los Angeles. As he reaches downtown, he finds himself in the middle of a massive traffic jam that is blocking up five different freeways and sending lines of cars back for miles in all directions. After a while, he notices a guy walking from car to car down the freeway, stopping and talking to people through their car windows. When the guy reaches him he rolls down his window and says, “Hey!…

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Read JokeHelp “the Juice”!

Stupid Car Accident Excuses

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all…

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Driving in China

I have always been a critic of Seattle driving, but recently I had a chance to see how others drive in far away countries, such as China. Since then, I have developed a profound respect for how we drive here in the Northwest. Why? What could be so bad about the driving in China? Here is a collection of short observations I have made riding in the Great Country of China. While Driving in China……………………… Traffic signals are (how should…

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