Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
It was autumn, and time for the blonde farmer to go over his books. To his puzzlement, he found that his flock of Rhode Island Reds was twice as profitable, in terms of eggs they produced, as was his flock of White Leghorns. “Look at this, he said to his wife. “I’ve gone over the numbers again and again, and there’s no doubt about it: the Reds are laying twice as many eggs and bringing in twice the money of…
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Six Jewish gentlemen were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerowitz lost $500 on a single hand, clutched his chest and dropped dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five completed their game standing up. Whereupon, Finkelstein looked around and asked, “Who is going to tell the wife?” They drew straws. Goldberg, who was always a loser, picked the short one. His fellow cardplayers told him to be discreet, be gentle, and don’t make…
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There once was a lady named Big Birtha. She decided one day that she wanted to get a tattoo on her butt. Big on one cheek and Birtha on the other. She went to the tattoo parlor and asked how much it would be. The parlor said that it would be $200. Birtha asked how much she could get for $50. The parlor said you can get a B on one cheek and a B on the other. She agreed.…
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A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly, he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to…
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A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, “Are they relatives of yours?” “Yes,” his wife replied. “I married into the family.”
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Hillary Rodham Clinton, role model for women who scare their husbands into cheating everywhere, has decided to have a trial separation from hubby Bill. She reportedly said that she has enough embarassment from living through a year long scandal, woman after woman, a rape charge, and having to watch Bill run to McDonalds in those really tight shorts. Hillary decided to separate herself from Bill, after trying for 17 years to separate him from evey other woman in Arkansas. She…
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Barbara Walters had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about ten feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation, saying, “This is marvelous. What enabled women here to achieve this wonderful reversal of roles?” The Kuwaiti woman replied, “Land mines.”
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A frustrated wife sent a desperate letter to the advice column of her local newspaper. ————————— Dear Gabby, I have a very loving husband. He loves me day and night. He loves me while working, sleeping, eating — anywhere and anytime. What should I do? Signed, Frustrated Wife P.S. Sorry for the jerky handwriting. ————————— Dear Frustrated Wife, Stop complaining and get a typewriter. -Gabby
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There was a man whose wife didn’t respond to his desires. This continued for about six months. As frustration built, he decided to see a doctor about his wife’s lack of attention toward him. The doctor gave him a bottle of pills and said, “Now, just before your wife retires, give her a cup of milk and slip a couple of these pills in it. Before you know it, she will be more than obliging.” So he goes home, very…
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While his wife is away a man decides to take the opportunity to paint the toilet seat. His wife comes home sooner than expected, sits on the toilet seat, and gets it stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to take her to the doctor to get it removed painlessly. She puts on a large overcoat to cover herself and the seat and away they go. When they get to the doctor’s office…
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