Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Eve, in the Garden of Eden, called out to the skies, “Oh Lord, I have a problem.” And the Lord said, Whats the matter Eve?” “I know you created me and this beautful garden,” said Eve, “but I’m lonely and I’m sick of eating apples.” “Well, in that case,” replied the Almighty, “I will create a man for you.” “What’s a man?” asked Eve. “He’s a flawed creature with aggresive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to listen. But…
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One time a Lawyer from up North came down to South Texas to go hunting. He shot a duck and it landed in an old farmers field. When he went to go get it the farmer saw him and asked what he was doing. The lawyer repeated in a smart ass way, “I am getting my duck, old man. Watch out!” The old man replied, “Well here in south Texas we got a contest we play before you can get…
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An atheist was hunting one day in a deep woods and while spotting a deer he took aim but his gun jammed. Hearing a noise behind him he turned to see a ferocious Grizzly drooling and growling as it approached him. He immediately fell to the ground and re-thinking his beliefs he called out: “GOD, if you exist, please… take this bear away! He then heard a voice from above. “You of all people want my help? You denied me…
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How to Identify Where a Driver is From One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York. One hand on wheel, one finger and head out the window — cursing, cutting across all lanes of traffic: Philly One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in…
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Top 25 Things A Wife Will Not Say: 1. I’ll swallow it all……..I love the taste. 2. Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink? 3. I’m bored. Let’s shave my pussy. 4. Shouldn’t you be down at the bar with your buddies? 5. That was a great fart! Do another one! 6. I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. 7. You’re so sexy when your hungover. 8. I’d rather watch football and drink beer with you than…
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A penguin had been out hunting for food for quite some time and finally returned to the rookery where there were several thousand other penguins. He climbed out of the cold water absolutely shagged and sat quietly recovering for a few minutes. Then he turned to another penguin who was near him and gasped, “Excuse me, but can you help me find my wife?” “Sure,” replied the stranger, “What does she look like?”
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A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best buddy.” Bartender says, “You want them both now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?” The guy says, “Oh, I want them both now. I’ve got my best buddy in my pocket here.” He then pulls a little 3 inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks, “You mean to say,…
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1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clock to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him, “I need some…
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Two men were out hunting one day,when one man says to the other i’ve gotta shit. His friend tells him to make sure he goes downwind so he won’t scare the deer. After the first man had been gone for about twenty minutes a huge deer comes walking up and the remaining man shoots it. When hisfriend didn’t yell out to ask if he killed it , he deciced he should search for the man. Thinking his buddy may have…
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Two friends, one an optimist and the other a pessimist, could never quite agree on any topic of discussion. One day the optimist decided he had found a good way to pull his pessimistic friend out of his continual pessimistic way of thinking. The optimist owned a hunting dog that could walk on water. So he took the pessimist duck hunting in a boat. They got out into the middle of the lake, and the optimist shot down a duck…the…
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