Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An institution for the mentally ill arranged for its inmates to attend a baseball game. The director spent days training the patients to obey his commands, so there wouldn’t be any trouble. The day of the game was bright and sunny and the group arrived just before the first pitch. When it was time for the National Anthem, the director yelled, “Up, nuts!” and the inmates immediately rose. When the National Anthem was over, the director yelled, “Down, nuts!” and…
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“This is to hep yu’all who don’t have the plesur of livin in the sunny South, which is sometimes covered in ice! Those who do, will wunder why these wus ever wrote down in the furst place.” Sayings in the South: “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already ‘saucered and blowed.” “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” “My…
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“Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time.” “Learn from Your Parents’ Mistakes — Use Birth Control” “My Designated Driver Drove Me to Drink” (Over a sketch of the Titanic) “The Boat Sank. Get Over It” “I Didn’t Drive My Husband Crazy — I Flew Him There — It Was Faster” “Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups” “Aunt Em: Hate You. Hate Kansas. Taking the Dog. Dorothy” “MEN: No Shirts,…
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A young man died somewhat before his time in a motor accident, and found himself in Hell. He sat in a hot ante-room surrounded by swirling sulphurous gases as he gloomily awaited his fate. He’d heard all the jokes. “OK lads, tea break’s over, back on your heads.” Being forced to listen to a continuous Barry Manilow tape. The electrodes on the goolies. It made him shiver. Finally Satan arrived, detected the young chap’s demeanour and said, “Hey, why so…
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102 REASONS IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY. 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Nite Football. 6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. You can open all your own jars. 9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained…
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A doctor at an (insane) asylum, decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, “Up, nuts!” and the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, “Down, nuts!” and they all sat. After a home run he yelled, “Cheer, nuts!” and they all…
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NEW YORK It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun. The penalty for jumping off a building is death. NEW JERSEY You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service only. In Ocean City, it is against the law to slurp your soup at a restaurant. CALIFORNIA It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license. Women may not drive in a house coat. FLORIDA It is illegal to…
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Two guys wanted to go out and drink but the problem was that they had no money to buy beer. One of the guys had an idea. He went to go buy a hotdog at one of the street stands. He told his friend that when they go to the bars they just ring up their tab and then I’ll pull out the hotdog and you will start sucking on it. His friend said it wouldn’t work. The other guy…
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