Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Lil’ Johnny’s mother had been away a week at a N.O.W. convention, and when she returned home, she was anxious to hear about his week. “Well, one night we had a thunderstorm, and I was scared, so Daddy and me slept together,” her son said. “Johnny!” said the boy’s French Au Pair, “Don’t you mean ‘Daddy and I’?” “No!” replied Johnny. “That was Thursday. I’m talking about Monday night.”
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After many years, a young Talmud student who had left the old country for America, returns to visit his family. “But, where is your beard?” asks his mother upon seeing him. “Mama,” he replies, “in American, nobody wears a beard.” “But at least you keep the Sabbath?” Mama asks. “Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath.” “But kosher food, you still eat?” asks Mama. “Mama, in American, it is very difficult to keep kosher.” The old…
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A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year old Little Johnny answers holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, “Little boy, is your mother home?” Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, “What the hell do you think?”
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One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again…
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There was this young blonde away from home in a foreign country, and she wanted to call her grandmother back in the US. Because of the country’s crappy economy, the blonde had to go to a large communications center to make the call. Upon arriving she asked a man working there how much a call to the US would cost. He responded, “The call will cost $200.” Being low on money, the blonde questioned if there was any other way…
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Dear Mom and Dad: It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in nothaving written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before youread on, please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY! Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when…
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Several years ago, I returned home from a business trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 AM, I found my two children in bed with my wife, Stacey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next day, I talked to the kids, explaining that it was “OK” to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad,…
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What did the blond mother say to her blond daughter? If you’re not in bed by ten, come home!
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This guy in New York bought a lotto ticket everyday, and everyday he told his son, ” son, if I win the lotto, it’s going to be France, champagne and Brigitte Bardot.” The next day again he comes home shows the lotto tickets to his son and says, “son, if I win the lotto it’s going to be France, champagne and Brigitte Bardot.” Finally his son, tired of hearing the same thing, askes, ” Dad what if you dont win?”…
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The best thing about moving back to my hometown was seeing so many familiar faces. One day, in the grocery store, I recognized a man who had been a good friend of my parents. He noticed me staring, so I quickly introduced myself as John and Helen’s daughter. “Helen’s daughter!” he exclaimed. “Oh, such a beautiful lady!” He called to his wife,”Martha, come and see Helen’s daughter. You remember Helen–such a beautiful lady.” “Oh, yes,” Martha replied. “She was always…
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