Blonde Having A Baby
What did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was going to have a baby? “OH?…Is it mine?”
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Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Having a baby Jokes
A Prayer for a Baby
At church service one night, the congregation held a special prayer service for a lady that was having complications with her pregnancy. She was told that she was to have the baby later that evening. At the end of the service, one of our teenagers led the closing prayer. In the prayer, he said this: “… please be with the family that is having complications with their pregnancy. We pray that everything will come out alright….” You could almost feel…
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Stolen Car Returned
Finishing their shopping at the mall, a couple discovers that their brand-new car was stolen. They file a report at the police station, and a detective drives them back to the parking lot to look for evidence. To their amazement, the car has been returned and there’s a note in it that says “I apologize for taking your car. My wife was having a baby and I hot-wired your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience.…
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Congratulations
A young couple has been married five years but Debbie has been unable to get pregnant. Then, having missed her menstrual period for a second consecutive month, she visits her doctor who examines her and gives her the good news. “Congratualtions, Debbie,” he smiles, “You’re going to have a baby.” On the bus going home, Debbie is so happy that she is bursting to tell somebody. She glances at the friendly-looking man sitting beside her and says “Excuse me, sir,…
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Cards NOT made by Hallmark
Not likely to find these cards at your local Hallmark store…. “Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.” “How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?” “I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.” “I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you.” “Looking back over the years that we’ve been…
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A child of variety
A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labor is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. “I’m afraid I don’t have a husband,” she replies. “OK, do you have a boyfriend?” asks the Midwife. “No, no boyfriend either.” “Do you have a partner then?” “No, I’m unattached; I’ll be having my baby on my own.” After the birth, the midwife again speaks to the young woman. “You have…
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Frazzled Housewife
The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. “How are you, darling?” it said. “What kind of a day are you having?” “Oh, Mother,” said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, “I’ve had such a bad day. The baby won’t eat, and the washing machine broke down. I haven’t had a chance to go shopping; and, besides, I’ve just sprained my ankle, and I have to hobble…
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I the undersigned……
I, the undersigned, a female accepting a marriage proposal, agree that… Section 1. In the unlikely event of my not having an orgasm after you’ve drunkenly rolled on top of me and pumped away for five *whole* minutes, wheezing like an old man with emphysema, I shall politely fake one. Section 1.01 And it’ll be a really good act too, with me saying stuff like “So THIS is what hot monkey love is all about!” and howling like a cat…
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Mother Says NO!
At the checkout line, a small boy and his mother were having a problem. The child was crying and begging for some special treat. He wants some candy or gum, and his mother won’t let him have any. At least that’s what I thought. Then I heard his mother’s reply. “No!” she said, looking the child squarely in the eye. “You may NOT have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one!”
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The Proxy Father
The Smiths had tried for years to have a child, and not having had any luck, they decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon”. Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the bell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come…
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