Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.” The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays…
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A police car pulls up in front of Grandma Bessie’s house, and Grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park…couldn’t find his way home. “Oh, Morris!” said Grandma, “you’ve been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost?” Leaning close to Grandma so that the policeman couldn’t overhear, Morris whispered, “I wasn’t lost….I was just too tired to walk home.”
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My Grandpa and Grandma were sitting on their porch swing enjoying the nice evening breeze, when Grandpa lovingly leaned over and said, “Hey Ma, I’m gonna have some ice cream, would you like some?” “Yeah, Pa, but you’d better write it down or you’ll forget”, says Grandma. Grandpa replies, “I won’t forget.” “Alright then”, says Grandma, “I’d like nuts and whipped cream and a cherry on mine. You’d better write that down, Pa you’re gonna forget it.” Disgruntled, Grandpa storms…
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Grandma walks into the laundry where she sees gramps with one hand pulling “Mr.Johnson” right out straight on the ironing board. In his other hand he has a can and is spraying that “one eyed wonder worm” for all it is worth. Grandma screams, “Just what the hell do you think you are doing with my starch?” “It’s ok, hon,” says gramps, “I heard on TV to keep it hard I should use Niagara.” Granny just sighed and shook her…
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Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life. My daughter was my mother, for she was my father’s wife. To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy. I soon became…
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“Grandma, when you and Grandpa had your first baby, did Grandpa ever handle the middle-of-the-night feedings?” “No. I always did that.” “That must have been before Women’s Liberation.” “No, it was before we had baby bottles.”
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A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.” The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the…
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Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn’t eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf. Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven’t even finished your Grandmother yet. Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts. Shut up and eat what’s put in front of you. Mommy, Mommy! What’s an Oedipus complex? Shut up and kiss me! Mommy, Mommy! What’s for dinner? Shut up and get back in the…
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Grandma and Grandpa were in the doctor’s office one day. After a brief check-up, the doctor said, “You know Grandpa, you’re 98, your wife is 96, tell me …. after this many years of marriage do you two still have mutual climax?” Grandpa said, “I don’t know, I’ll have to ask grandma.” He yelled to his wife, “Grandma do we still have mutual climax?” Grandma said, “Listen, old man, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times…
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There was this boy who woke up one night with a nightmare. He cries, “Mummy, Mummy!” His mother came rushing into the bedroom and the boy told her that he had a dream that Grandma died. So a week later, his Grandma died. The boy woke up another night screaming and he told his mother that he dreamt that Grandpa died. Strangely enough, a week later Grandpa died. The boy woke up yet another night screaming that he had a…
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