Grandma Jokes

Reminiscing Grandma

A grandmother was telling her granddaughter what her own childhood had been like . . . “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking all this in. At last she said, “Gramma, I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

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Read JokeReminiscing Grandma

With Grandma’s Help

Little Jimmy was struggling with a homework assignment his 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Adams, had given her English class. Jimmy’s grandmother realized that the boy was having difficulty when she saw all the scrunched up papers around the kitchen table where he was working. “Having a problem with your homework, dear?” asked the sweet old lady. “I am, Grandma”, said Jimmy, dropping his pencil dejectedly on the table. “We’re supposed to make up a limerick and read it to the…

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Read JokeWith Grandma’s Help

Grandma!

A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking at the things she had purchased. He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words “QUEEN SIZE”. He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, “Look Granny, YOU wear the same size as our bed!”

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Read JokeGrandma!

Grandma’s pee

A bus, whose doors are open all the time was riding through town. In comes an old woman, and as she find herself a seat, she suddenly felt the urge to pee. Unfortunately, her stop is still far away, so she decided to pee out of the bus’s door when no one is looking. As the bus rides, she went to the most back door, lifted her skirt and peed. Unfortunately though, some of her pee landed in a young…

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Read JokeGrandma’s pee

The kind grandma

One day a guy was driving in his car when it broke down. He saw a house and it was raining so he decided to ask if he could stay for the night. So he knocked on the door and a grandma came to the door and he asked if he could stay the night. The Grandma said yes and took him to a room. This room had clothes hanging down and it scratched and tickled his face, so he…

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Read JokeThe kind grandma

Contacting Grandma

A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic’s eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, “Granddaughter? Are you there?” The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, “Grandma? Is that you?” “Yes, Granddaughter, it’s me.” “It’s really, really, you, Grandma?” the woman repeats. “Yes, it’s really me, Granddaughter.” The woman looks…

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Read JokeContacting Grandma

Bingo! Tyneside Hall Swaps Number Calls for Bass Drops as It Becomes Unexpected Rave Hotspot

Bingo! Tyneside Hall Swaps Number Calls for Bass Drops as It Becomes Unexpected Rave Hotspot. Who knew that the pursuit of “full house” could evolve into an entirely different kind of pursuit involving flashing lights and thumping bass? ? In a plot twist no one saw coming, the King Street Social Club in North Shields, once a bastion of hushed numbers and dabbers, has undergone a radical transformation. Forget your grandma’s weekly outing; it’s now a bonafide mecca for ravers!…

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Read JokeBingo! Tyneside Hall Swaps Number Calls for Bass Drops as It Becomes Unexpected Rave Hotspot

Before Women’s Lib

“Grandma, when you and Grandpa had your first baby, did Grandpa ever handle the middle-of-the-night feedings?” “No. I always did that.” “That must have been before Women’s Liberation.” “No, it was before we had baby bottles.”

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Read JokeBefore Women’s Lib

A Redneck MaMa’s Letter to her Son

Dear Son: Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive. I will write this letter slowly because I know you can’t read fast. First the big news…your Dad heard that most accidents happen close to home so we moved. You won’t know the house when you come home as I can’t send you the address because the last redneck family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn’t have to change their address.…

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Read JokeA Redneck MaMa’s Letter to her Son

More of ‘You might be a redneck’

You might be a Redneck if you think the Nutcracker is something you do off the highdive. You might be a Redneck if someone hollers “Hoedown” and your girlfriend falls to the floor. You might be a Redneck if you own a home that is mobile and 14 cars that aren’t. If you have been married 3 times and you still have the same in-laws, you might be a Redneck. If your grandma can properly execute the Sleeper hold. You…

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Read JokeMore of ‘You might be a redneck’