Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, “Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job.” So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports.…
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God: And remember Moshe, in the laws of keeping Kosher, never cook a calf in its mother’s milk. It is cruel, Moshe (Moses): Ohhhhhh! So you are saying we should never eat milk and meat together. G: No, what I’m saying is, never cook a calf in its mother’s milk. M: Oh, Lord forgive my ignorance! What you are really saying is we should wait six hours after eating meat to eat milk so the two are not in our…
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THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN His first name was Jesus He was bilingual He was always being harassed by the authorities THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK He called everybody “brother” He liked Gospel He couldn’t get a fair trial THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH He went into his father’s business He lived at home until he was 33 He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God THREE PROOFS THAT…
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a.. Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS? b.. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! c.. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole d.. 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest? e.. Your gene pool needs a little chlorine. f.. You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! g.. DON’T PISS ME OFF!!!!!! I’m running out of…
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In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami. “Excuse me,” she said to the manager. “My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks.” “I’m awfully sorry,” he replied, “but all of our rooms are occupied.” Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out. “What luck,” said…
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Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…
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Jesus is wandering around Jerusalem when he decides he really needs a new robe. After looking around, he sees a sign for ‘Finkelstein, the Tailor.’ He goes in and Finkelstein prepares a new robe for him, which is a perfect fit. When Jesus asks how much he owes, Finkelstein brushes him off: “No, no, no, for the Son of God? There’s no charge! However, may I ask a small favor? Maybe whenever you give a sermon you could just mention…
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1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the fountain. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream ‘MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!’ 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD…
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Tom’s best friend wakes him up on sunday morning after a long night of partying and drags him to church. Despite Tom’s pleas for sleep his friend forces him to sit through the entire sermon. As the priest begins his sermon Tom drifts asleep. The priest asks the church, “Why are we gathered here this morning?” At that very moment Tom’s friend, noticing Tom is asleep, jabs a pencil into Tom’s leg. Tom jumps up and screams “FOR THE LOVE…
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A guy by the name of George died and found himself waiting to be let into Heaven. As George stepped up the gates Saint Peter asked him his name. George answered and Saint Peter ran his finger down the list. “I’m sorry, you’re not on the list. I’m afraid I can’t let you in.” “There must be some mistake. I’ve lived a very decent life on Earth. The only thing that I’ve done wrong was cuss the other day on…
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