Constipation in Germany
What’s the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Germ Jokes
Germany
How did the germany army defeat the Polish army so easily? They marched in backwards and the Polish army thought they were leaving
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American in Germany
An American tourist was visiting West Germany. Before returning home he decided to pay a visit to the red-light district of Munich. After enjoying the delights of one of the red-light’s buxom blondes he left immediately, without paying any money. “What about the marks?” cried the prostitute. “Oh yes. Ten out of ten!” he replied.
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German Virgin?
Q. What do you call a virgin in German? A. “Goodentight”
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The Irishman’s Blonde Wife
An Englishman, a German, a Scotsman and an Irishman are in a London pub, trading stories about how dumb their wives are. “My wife,” says the Englishman, “is so dumb that she spent $300 on frozen pork chops because they were on sale, and we don’t even have a freezer.” The German says, “Oh yah? My vife chust bought skis, und ve liff no vhere near a mountain.” The Scotsman says, “Aye, lad, that’s prrrety dumb, but my wife just…
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Pedigree
An American and an Englishman are sharing the same compartment on a train trip to London from Paris. During their conversation, the American criticizes the arrogance of the English people. He says to the Englishmen, “You people have such stiff upper lips that you think your people are the superior race in the world. You tend to look down on people not the same as you are. As for me, I’m proud to say that I’m a quarter Irishman, two…
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Back to the Drawing Board
Sometimes advertising campaigns backfire. Here are a few true examples. 1. Coors translated it’s slogan “Turn it loose” into Spanish, where it was read as “Suffer from diarrhea.” 2. Clairol introduced the “Mist Stick” curling iron into Germany, where they later found out that ‘mist’ is the German equivalent of shit. 3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market to coincide with the Pope’s visit. But instead of “I saw the Pope” (el Papa), the…
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Wait, You Forgot To Insult Me!!
While German composer Johannes Brahms could be agreeable and interesting, he could also be difficult, sarcastic and rude. Even his friends were not immune to unprovoked verbal attacks. On one occasion he upset a gathering of friends with a series of offensive remarks, then rose to his feet and left the room, stopping briefly at the door to say, “If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon.”
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There He Goes Again!
German playwright and novelist Hermann Sudermann and fellow-dramatist Richard Voss disliked each other. When a dramatists’ guild was founded, their colleagues brought them together to effect a reconciliation, as their names were of importance to the guild. After much hesitation they were persuaded to shake hands. Voss added, “Herr Sudermann, I wish for your next play the same success as you wish me.” Sudermann turned to the onlookers: “Did you hear that? There he goes again!”
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REAL Product Warning Labels
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.” On Tesco’s Tirimisu Dessert: “Do not turn upside down.” (Printed on bottom of box.) On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.” On Boot’s CHILDREN’S cough medicine: “Do not drive car or operate heavy machinery.” On Nytol (a sleep aid): “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” On a Korean kitchen knife: “Warning – – keep out of children.” On a string of Christmas lights from China:…
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