Friend bill Jokes

Bill Clinton’s Retirement Plans

Spend more quality time with Chelsea and her 13 half brothers and sisters. Tour the nations’ prisons to improve conditions. Visit friends while there. Write book: “The American Presidency: An Oral History.” Search for a new outlet for well-developed lying and cheating skills. Catch up on eight-year stack of “Penthouse.” Continue work counseling interns. Get to know those Bush girls better.

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Read JokeBill Clinton’s Retirement Plans

Bill Clinton Statue Committee

Bill Clinton Statue Committee 1040 Buffoon Street Little Rock, AR 72205 Dear Friend: We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for raising 5 million dollars for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the hall of fame in Washington, DC. This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It was not wise to place it beside George Washington, who never told a lie, nor beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth,…

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Read JokeBill Clinton Statue Committee

Questions for Money

A group of friends, who prided themselves on their intelligence, set out to have a contest of wits. Each person in turn asked a question and anyone who volunteered an answer that was wrong dropped out. If no one could answer, the questioner himself had to answer, and if he was wrong, he dropped out. Each dropout had to put $5 into the pot. Eventually, the matter boiled down to Jason and Dean, and the erudition of each one boiled…

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Read JokeQuestions for Money

A Redneck MaMa’s Letter to her Son

Dear Son: Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive. I will write this letter slowly because I know you can’t read fast. First the big news…your Dad heard that most accidents happen close to home so we moved. You won’t know the house when you come home as I can’t send you the address because the last redneck family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn’t have to change their address.…

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Read JokeA Redneck MaMa’s Letter to her Son

Who’s Zooming Who?

While playing poker with his buddies at the home of his friend Eddie one Sunday evening, Dan happened to drop a dollar bill to the floor. As he bent down to pick up the dollar bill under the poker table, he happened to look directly at the shapely legs of Eddie’s wife, Mona, who was seated on a chair near the poker table. Sensing that Dan was staring at her legs, Mona slyly parted her legs revealing that she was…

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Read JokeWho’s Zooming Who?

The World is Populated by Idiots

1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. 2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head. 3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial…

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Read JokeThe World is Populated by Idiots

Expensive advice

Two members of a country club, one a doctor, the other a lawyer, were having dinner in the lounge overlooking the golf course. Midway through the meal, a lady who was a patient of the doctor, left her table and came over to the doctor. “I’m sorry to interrupt your dinner, Doctor,” said the woman, “but I’ve had a terrible headache all day.” “Well,” said the doctor, “I can’t really say what the problem is offhand, but you should go…

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Read JokeExpensive advice

ya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…

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Read Jokeya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Resignation

To share to whom it may concern: I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an eight-year-old again. I want to go to McDonald’s and think that its a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a…

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Read JokeMy Resignation