Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There is one guy who needs to get to the airport within half an hour.It takes 45 minutes to get there, so he asks a cab driver ,”Can you get me to the airport within half an hour?” The cab driver says ,”With seven dollars i can.” The guy says “Ok.” So they go, on the way theres a red light ,when the driver sees it he slams the gas. The guy in the back asks the driver ,”What in…
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A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.” The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays…
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It was siesta time in the sleepy Mexican village. Pedro reclined on the sidewalk while his favorite ass, Pablo, stood nearby. An American tourist wandered by, stopped to click a few photos of Pedro and Pablo, then in jest, asked Pedro if he knew what time it was. Pedro looked up at him, quietly reached over, hefted Pablo’s huge nuts, squinted at them, said “Two-fifteen, senor,” then went back to his siesta. When the tourist checked his watch, it said…
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A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.” The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the…
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Matt and Lennie’s Do’s and Don’t Do’s… Of University Life: Do – Ask questions when in doubt. Don’t – Call your professor “P. Daddy Spanks”. Do – Bring books to class. Don’t – Bring your pet Tree Frog “Mittens” to class. Do – Buy second hand books. Don’t – Buy home made books out of the back of Slimmy Jakes truck. Do – Form a study group. Don’t – Let the crazy old guy that lives in the dumpster out…
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A man was driving along when he saw a sign that said “Yard Sale Today”, so he decided to check it out. He wandered around for a while, not seeing anything he wanted, and then his eye fell upon a beautiful vase. He decided to ask how much it was. “How much for this vase?” he asked. “Ten dollars.” “Would you take five?” “Well I don’t know, it is a good vase.” “But five is all I have.” “Well, okay.”…
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A man is walking around New York with his wife. They find a perfume shop, the wife goes in, and he waits outside. A hooker comes along and says to him, “Like to come home with me, buddy?” “For how much?” asks the man. “One hundred dollars.” “I’ll give you five bucks.” The hooker swears at him and walks away. A little later, the man’s wife comes out of the shop and they continue their walk. As they round a…
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A lovely young Jewish girl was employed by a clothing firm in New York. She and her widowed mother shared the same ambition: marriage to a wealthy man. One day she returned from work, eyes red from crying. As soon as she entered the apartment she called, “MAMA, I’m pregnant! Don’t get excited. The father is my boss.” She began to sob uncontrollably while her mother tried to console her. The next morning, the mother charged into the office of…
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Rich, Eddie and Michael decided to visit a prostitute. It was a slow night, so she gave the guys a deal. “You can pay by the inch.” When Rich comes back out his friends ask, “How much did she charge you?” “$75 dollars,” said Rich with a wink and a smile. Eddie goes in and returns with a fee of $85, and several “high fives.” The first two were proud of their prowess. Michael goes in and returns. “How much…
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A young woman wasn’t feeling well and asked one of her co-workers to recommend a physician. “I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. He charges five hundred dollars for your initial visit and one hundred dollars for each one after that.” The woman decided to see this doctor and save a little money, too. She walks in and cheerily announced, “I’m back!” Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said,…
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