First house Jokes

Teen Star, 14, Snags Emmy for First Role, Leaving Veteran Actors Wondering What They’re Doing Wrong

Teen Star, 14, Snags Emmy for First Role, Leaving Veteran Actors Wondering What They’re Doing Wrong! ? This pint-sized powerhouse, who was barely old enough to reach the snacks table on set, just made history at the 2025 Emmys. ? For his role in ‘Adolescence,’ this actor became the youngest-ever winner for best supporting actor in a limited series. The best part? It was his first professional credit! While seasoned performers have been toiling away for decades, this 14-year-old basically…

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Read JokeTeen Star, 14, Snags Emmy for First Role, Leaving Veteran Actors Wondering What They’re Doing Wrong

Bill Gates Buys a House

Bill: “There are a few issues we need to discuss.” Contractor: “Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?” Bill: “Uh, yeah… the first issue is the living room. We think it’s a little smaller than we anticipated.” Contractor: “Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the release date.” Bill: “We won’t be able to fit all our furniture in there.” Contractor: “Well, you…

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Diary of a Viagra Housewife

Day 1. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried. Wussy. Day 2. Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I don’t know! I mean, gimme a break. He’s been dysfunctional for so long that he…

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Three Housewives

Three housewives are having lunch together in a small diner. Over dessert and coffee, they are discussing their suspicions regarding their spouses’ infidelities. The first housewife says, “You know, I once found a pair of panty hose in the pocket of my husband’s coat and it’s not mine.” “Tell me about it,” says the second housewife. “Several weeks ago, I found a box of condoms in my husband’s drawer. And I know he never uses them whenever we have sex.”…

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Blow up the White House..

Two people, fed up with Clinton’s rule, decided to blow up the White House. They put the bomb in the back seat of their car and were off on their mission. First one, who was already a little squeamish, asked in a low voice: “Hey…! What if the bomb went off right now?” Brave second one said, “Don’t worry! I’ve got a spare bomb in the trunk.”

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First Sexual Experience

Jim, who is 17, normally goes out and is home by 11:00 but one night 11:00 passes and Jimmy is not home yet. His father gets really worried and waits outside the house for him. 12:00 passes, 1:00, finally at 2:00 Jimmy gets home. His father, who is furious by this time, asks him why he is late. Jimmy replies, “Dad, I had my first sexual experience today!” His dad is all excited and proud. He puts his arm around…

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Housewarming Gift

When we moved into our new home, the first one we owned rather than rented, one of my husband’s friends gave him a bottle of champagne. In the hustle and bustle of getting settled, the gift was tucked away and temporarily forgotten. Three months later, we held a Christening party for our third child. Champagne flowed in celebration until, running short, we remembered our housewarming gifts. In front of our guests, I open the attached card and read it aloud,…

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Three Times A Lady

A couple was enjoying a romantic dinner, celebrating their 35th anniversary when the husband says to his wife, “Honey, it’s wonderful having been married to you for 35 years, but there is one thing I’ve often wondered and have never known for sure. Have you been true to me throughout our married years?” She suddenly gets this flushed look upon her face as responds, “Does it really matter? What really counts is that we have been happy and we’ll be…

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2 Black Kids Go Trick-or-treating

One Halloween night, two African American children, who are brother and sister, put on their costumes and go out of the house for some trick or treat. At the first house they stop by, the boy rings the doorbell. After a few minutes, an old white woman opens the door and asks, “And who might you two be?” “We’re Hansel and Gretel!” says the boy. “But you can’t be Hansel and Gretel. They’re white!” insists the old woman who promptly…

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Residential sales call

A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, and a real mean and tough-looking lady opens the door. Before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet, exclaiming, “Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn’t do wonders cleaning up that bovine manure, I’ll eat them!.” She turns to him with a smirk on her face and says, “You want ketchup on that?” The…

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Read JokeResidential sales call