Film actor Jokes

Here are some film phrases to help you in your film viewing. Classic- A really boring movie that no-one likes. Ten Best- The 10 worst movies. (Usually Classics) Landmark- A really, REALLY boring movie. (Like 2001) New-Wave- The directors a lunatic, and no-one can make head or tail of the movie. Review- A biased analysis of a movie made by people who care about things like plot, theme and acting; things that have nothing to do with the enjoyment of…

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Film actor George Raft, who was noted for portraying sinister gangsters during the 1930’s through the 1950’s, and was notorious for his gangland associations in real life, acquired and disposed of over ten million dollars in the course of his career. Once chided by a friend for his extravagant spending habits, he was asked what he did with his money. “Part of the loot went for gambling,” he explained. “Part went for horses, and part for women. The rest I…

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Film actor Victor Mature once applied for membership in the exclusive Los Angeles Country Club, only to be told “We don’t accept actors.” “I’m no actor,” Mature protested, “and I’ve sixty-four pictures to prove it.”

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ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the “new, improved” method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ARCHAEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest – penalty for…

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While living, in Hawaii during the 1980s, I was privileged to watch several episodes of “MAGNUM P.I.” being filmed, on location. When the Director calls for the cameras to roll, prior to calling for “Action!,” the camera operator responds that the camera is rolling and that the film has reached the required speed through the lens aperture. During one shoot at the Chinese Cultural Center in Honolulu, actor Tom Selleck was in one of his mischievous moods, and the following…

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If foreign films are so good, how come they don’t make them in this country? Definition of an optimist: an accordian player with a beeper. Old age is when you tell a friend you’re having an affair and he says, “That’s wonderful! Who’s the caterer?” Part of the trouble with doing nothing in life is that you never know when you’re through. Tractor pulls were invented so professional wrestling fans would have someone to look down on. Opieology: a religion…

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